Beloved Festival Impact

Tantric Thoughts under a Waxing Moon

Dear Lovers,
Here is the web address for all five of the articles taken from William Dalrymple's book Nine Lives:

http://killingthebuddha.com/author/williamdalrymple/

Reading them reminded me of why I usually do not use the words Tantra, dakini or yogini to describe my work or the members of my communities. Although I do joke about my "Adventures in Dakini Land" I am ever mindful that there are people in India, Tibet and elsewhere who are true Tantric practitioners.

I feel a deep affinity for Tantra and Tantric practices when I read the following portions of Dalrymple's text, (bold emphasis is mine):

"In this frightening aspect, Tara is not alone, but instead part of a sisterhood who encompass the divine feminine at its most terrible: a brood of dark-skinned untameable Tantric divinities who are worshiped in Bengal, and who here take precedence in popular piety over the more familiar male gods: Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva. These goddesses, known as the Ten Mahavidyas, are attended by jackals, furies and ghosts. They cut off their own heads, and are offered blood sacrifices by their devotees. In the miniatures that illustrate the Tantric texts, they prefer to have sex with corpses than living men or gods, straddling them on a burning cremation pyre and bringing the dead to life through the power of their shakti. Such goddesses—embodying all that would normally be considered outrageous or even repulsive—lie at the shifting threshold between the divine and demonic, violating approved social values and customs. They are “going up the down-current,” as one Bengali Tantric once put it to me."

and
Though Tantrism only became well defined at the end of the first millennium AD, some of its constituent elements such as its goddess cults, shamanism, and sexual yoga may date back to pre-Aryan and pre-Vedic religious currents, and in many ways are fundamentally opposed to the ideas and structures of the Vedas, which emphasise the social and religious hierarchy. Tantrics, in contrast, oppose convention and hierarchy, and encourage individuals from every background to develop a mystical relationship with the deity. It is kama—desire in every sense of the word—that is to be used to achieve liberation in this life. While Tantric texts can represent an elevated philosophical tradition, popular Tantric practice is often oral and spontaneous. It aims at ritually gaining access to the energy of the godhead that created and controls the universe, then concentrating and internalizing that power in the body of the devotee. This turns the world and the body into channels of salvation, and a powerful means of merging with the Absolute, but also grants tangible magical powers to the devotee in the present.

These definitions of Tantra resonate with me and with the kinds of ritual magicks and invocatory work I love to do. I truly enjoy the liminal spaces The "thresholds between the divine and demonic"where I am able to "violate approved social values and customs". Admittedly the only "Tangible magical power" I want as a devotee is to love beyond my ego/personality's limited understandings of desire and preferences. Lately,my particular magick seems to be consistently taking the form of holding workshops that explore the mysteries of Love and Intimacy Building. My abilities to channel and "gain access to the energy of the godhead that created and controls the universe" remains rather limited to my rather tame Western European/Greek glimpses of Aphrodite as a Golden Wave of Love and Desire and perhaps that is as it should be.

I love that the name Tara originates in the word for "Star" and shares this with Stella Maris, & Astarte. I love knowing that Aphrodite in her origins is, as all these goddesses a Goddess of War and blood sacrifice as well as Love and desire. I believe that Aphrodite, the Peacock God and other Divine beings associated with the Star/Planet we know astronomically as Venus; is the same archetypal being seen through the different cultural lenses of humanity throughout time. It pleases me to over and over again feel the deep tidal pulls of desire and yearning and to sacrifice them to her; knowing she/he is the one true source and origin for all love and lust for me in this lifetime.

When ever I move my heartbreak from a personal sense of despair toward the universal ache of desire located in all of humanity my weeping becomes the cry for the beloved and I am no longer lost and pitiable. I am simply a devotee calling out to the godhead in one of her many forms. Then my despair and aching heart are full of wisdom and reconciliation. Then my meditation is self-recognition and integration for I am the Goddess and she is my deepest self. I am so relieved to have found a way out of despair by simply feeling it fully and allowing these waves of sensation to move out of me in radiance and magnetism.

My have a dear and devoted friend who is fond of reminding me that if I want a love life that has permanence and stability I am worshipping the wrong Goddess (Aphrodite). I adore her for being willing to listen to my endless stories of love, loss, passion, desire, heartbreak and infatuation. I pray she never becomes unwilling to lend me her compassionate ear. Thank you dear sister for all of your compassion and generosity.

Lately, however, I have been getting glimpses of something that is True for me with a capital "T". It may be possible that I am not meant to have a male partner in a static monogamous relationship in this lifetime ( no really? what was my first clue??). Now I want to be careful not to create a "curse" or limitation for myself. It is clear to me at this point that when I am infatuated with a human being I get very fixated and stuck, things stop flowing. I want to have partners that share my experience of the Divine as central and human relationships as ephemeral. Devotion to Divinity above devotion to specific humans is what I had in common with my two young male yoga teacher housemates for 11 months and was, I believe the unifying field of our ability to live together in such a small space rather peacefully, (I mean really when you think about it we got on rather well all things considered).

I have an amazing capacity to fall in love with, and then also to persistently love, other human beings. My relationships with each of you reading this is a clear testimonial/evidence of that capacity. As long as I do not get confused and think that love = people will do what I want I am fine. My experiences this past week at Beloved Festival, and my ongoing relatedness with my lovers and close intmate friends, with all of you is evidence to me that my way of loving is to be as intimate as possible and take all of us right up to the edge of social limits and customs. I know I push all of you. My love of you makes you uncomfortable sometimes doesn't it? My love for you makes me question everything I've ever been taught to believe about socially appropriate boundaries, about what it means to be straight, queer, gay, pansexual. About what it means to be married, monogamous, poly. While I actually enjoy transgressing these boundaries, I do not Love you in order to transgress. It seems to me rather that my loving, when I express it without reserve, crosses the boundaries of polite society. Perhaps this is love's nature.
Let me know your thoughts.

Going to Hawaii!

Robyn Lynn, Adele, Daenin, my Mother and I are going to play in Hawaii on the big island from Feb 16-26th 2010. While we are there we are going to play with dolphins, see Pele, go snorkling and teach at Kipuka Temple. Here is a description of our class, Join us won't you!

Temple of the Open Heart:
Saturday February 20th 2010
Noon-10pm
suggested donation $100
KIPUKA TEMPLE near Kehena Beach
on Big Island, Hawaii

Open the gateway to the heart with Breathwork in the Round. The very most important element needed for life- oxygen, will race in and push all kinds of resistance, sadness, fear, anger and illness up and out. Life, love, insight, hope, pleasure and mystery will rush down and in. After we’ve passed through this opening, Teri Ciacchi and Robyn Lynn will lead us through practices guaranteed to increase connection and enhance closeness. You will be cradled in safety and surrounded by the sensuous. Be prepared to dance, sing, and otherwise be inspired to relaxed, full self-expression. Bring water, wear loose comfortable clothing and be sure bring an abundant potluck dish to share. This delicious event will run from Noon-10pm, with a break for dinner around 5pm. Suggested donation is $100. Limited discounts are available to those in need. Space is limited, register now to reserve your place.
Living Love Revolution techniques have been gathered from American Tantra as practiced by Margo Anand, Julia Henderson, the Human Awareness Institute and the works of Gay and Kathleen Hendricks. Teri & Robyn are visiting from Seattle and have taught at Network for a New Culture SummerCamp, ErosFest NorthWest, Seattle Erotic Arts Festival, Center for Sex Positive Culture, The Sharma Center, The Body Electric School,1st Annual Australian Conference of Sacred Sexual Educators in Melbourne.

I am Radiant Well-Being

I am growing and expanding again. I found DaVinci's Bakery on Greenwood and 100th where wheat free gluten free goodies are made. Thanks Kallie for having such an awesome bakery full of things I can eat without getting indigestion!

I just had a very moving and loving conversation with my friend X this afternoon. I realized last Thursday (because he told me and I actually listened), that he did not want to be in a physically intimate romantic relationship with me. I got very clear guidance this weekend that I am supposed to love him unconditionally anyway. It is somewhat difficult for me as my ego/id/identity wants to belittle him and throw a fit and say "you are an idiot for rejecting me". In fact I was already in the process of generating stories that belittled both of us because I was inauthentic about how painful it was for me to not get what I want "AGAIN!". Authentically though, I really want to keep loving him and being close to him. So we agreed we will be friends and that it is safe to have our child selves play with each other. I also had a two hour yoga session with Lance on Tuesday we talked for the first hour about Yoga's spiritual properties and I got a much deeper understanding of what Yoga is. Then we did an hour of yoga, all surrender poses and on the floor poses. He also led me in a yogic sleep visualization which was very healing. Julie Starkel is doing a blood test for me so I can learn about my vitamin deficeinces and then calculate my metabolic rate. I am learning so much about bodies! So my new affirmation is that I am learning the magickal art of shape shifting.
*******Below is what i sent out in my most recent newsletter***********
I am remarkably healthy and feeling well. I am the possibility of radiant well-being. As of Jan 7th my official 8 weeks of doctor recommended rest and recovery for my triple hernia surgery is complete! The CAT scan taken on Dec 23rd showed neither further hernias nor prolapse of any kind. I started doing water aerobics at the local pool today and am walking 2-5 times a week. The number of people who have stepped up to help me and provided me with services is amazing! I especially want to thank Dawn Lamp who is now a nutrition and well-being coach who sells Usana Supplements, Julie Starkel of Greenlake Nutrition who is my nutritionist, Emily Jennings and Ranjiv Jain who are my exercise coaches, and Lance DeMuth who created a series of Yoga Asanas for me to do as I recover. Luminara Serdar is doing NeuroModulation Technique sessions with me. check her out at
I can now carry things up and down stairs and walk for 45 minutes again. Being healthy is not something I assume any more. I am really enjoying learning how to eat and so many fascinating things about my body and digestion and nutrition. Wow, who knew something as essential as eating could be so complex. Food is medicine. I appear to have some kind of wheat or gluten intolerance and I would love to get suggestions for places to eat non-wheat/ gluten dishes and types of non-wheat foods that you enjoy.
As you can see I am not teaching much at all Jan – March 2009. I am focusing on developing my counseling practice, making art and tending to my intimate relationships. I find that my healing process requires a lot more centering of the self and alone time. I am cooking most of my own food, meditating and just being with myself. I am enjoying this process. Thanks for being a part of my community of health!

Fall 2008 Time for a Love Revolution!

Hello to everyone who gets my TerraFire Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living Newsletters,
There are big changes afoot.

#1 I am about to change the name of my work to Love Revolution. Shortly I will have a new "Love Revolution" website at www.livingloverev.com. I will convert my blog, video, and website ASAP and my newsletter for Oct will be under the new name.

#2 I am struggling with health issues due to the fact that I have 3 (not one as I originally thought) hernias and need a specific (laparoscopic via robotic arms) surgery.The hernias were a side effect of having such a large incision for my full hysterectomy and subsequent massive amounts of scar tissue. I do not have health insurance. I make too much to receive DSHS or get on WA basic health. My previous experience with cancer, and the fact that I am "morbidly obese" have prevented me from obtaining insurance. I do have a 100% charity from Swedish Hospital for the hospitalization side of expenses until Dec 31st 2008. I am looking for a surgeon who works or will work at Swedish and will give me both a discount and a payment plan. I am meeting with Dr Jedediah Kaufman from the general surgery Dept. at Swedish Tuesday Sept 30th at 9:15am in the hopes that he will be the surgeon to help me. Please send me healing energy, love and life force so I can retain a surgeon and receive this operation ASAP. thanks.

#3 Okay, I really want you to join the "Next Step Together" as it is the most realistic and ambitious plan I have helped create to move us toward world peace starting NOW. I have chosen to stop being resigned and cynical and start acting powerfully. To any of you who want to participate in self-governance this is the social experiment for you. I am printing the letter below and in an attachment so you can send it on to others too.

Blessings,

Teri D. Ciacchi MSW
"Love Revolution: clear explicit information about love, sex and relationships"
(206) 612-3511


An Invitation to Join the Next Step Together
In the end,
 we will remember not the words of our enemies, 
but the silence of our friends.
--Martin Luther King, Jr.

Dear Friends, Community Organizers, Visionaries, Superheroes, and everyone who loves life:


This letter has four parts:

What's Going On?

What's In It for Us?

What Do I Do?

What's the Plan?

What's Going On: We're all aware of the political, economic, and environmental events converging at this historical crossroads. Even though most of us know that we could solve every solvable problem on the planet for 10% of what we spend on the world's military, the world seems stuck. Like so many of you, we've wondered for years how a revitalized democracy or a nonviolent mass movement or even love itself could ever take hold.

But during this past year, hope for a brighter future has surprised and shocked and sometimes even frightened us.

A very improved consensus governance system called Dynamic Self-Governance, or Sociocracy is a missing puzzle piece, a catalyst that will enable us to effectively and efficiently work together. Every week one of us sees a new application of Sociocracy, a new project,a new way to bring humanity together.

And we have created an exciting, elegant, plan for a sustainable future. It's based on the nerve-like, deeply interwoven network of life and friendship in which we all move. The human body politic has been suffering in its sleeping, but it starts waking now with you.

It's time to take a massive Next Step Together. That step is to powerfully connect everyone who chooses a sustainable future for the planet into a cohesive global decision-making structure—starting with the people you already know.

This is the next evolutionary step. We might never take it. Or we might take it after we've killed billions more people and wrecked essential planetary life support systems. Or we might take it now.

We've combined the most essential and practical strategies for building a sustainable, just earth. Now let's implement them. Really.

What's In It For Us?

A life.

A practical alternative to empire, terrorism, corporatism, racism, classism, pollution, starvation, poverty, war, violence, rape, neglect, madness, disease, isolation, fear and powerlessness

Safety in numbers Fun Community Meaning Security

Freedom Sustainability HOPE


Your fair share of power -- the deepest democracy imaginable


An honest shot at creating and relaxing in a just world -- No kidding!

The knowledge that you acted powerfully when you were called to do so.

What Do I Do?

a) Learn more about the Next Step Together at: http://nextsteptogether.net


b) Join the Next Step Together group on Facebook.

Then, using this letter, invite everybody you know to do the same. (Got issues with Facebook? See below.) We'd like a million people in the Facebook group by October 8. (Call the person who sent you this letter if you need support accessing Facebook!)


c) Get involved with the Implementation Circle process.We need local organizers, web designers, programmers, economists, event planners, activists, donors, thinkers, writers.Everyone. You have needed skills, resources and people to bring into the circle.Call or write us!


What's The Plan?

a) Gather massive numbers of already connected people in the Next Step Together Group on Facebook.

b)Implement a sociocratic governance system, connecting every Friend Group into an elegant, organic decision making structure, creating a super-majority of people who are willing to focus their power for the greatest good. Each of us will govern with equal power.

c)Once we have critical mass, we'll collectively consent to our next, efficient, giant steps using all the creativity, innovation and skill we have. We'll act together, nonviolently, in overwhelming numbers, and make pivotal, systemic change quickly.

This is the fastest way we know of to create the world we want.

It seems wildly optimistic, because the human family is drowsy, just waking up. But, in their hearts, everybody really wants a safe, fun, fair world. Everybody. At least 20% of us are already ready, eager, and gathering for this. 60% of the population will join us quickly if the 20% of us with active hope and vision act powerfully now. The 80% will then offer the remaining 20% consideration and kindness no sane person could refuse, because, in sociocracy, everyone must consent to every major policy.

Welcome to the beginning of giant, fast, smart love power!

We look forward to seeing your wonderful face in the Next Step Together group!

Very hopefully,

Tim Anderson, Teri D. Ciacchi, Bradley K. Ehrlich, Robyn Lynn & Jenifer Stambaugh
 



First they ignore you,
then they laugh at you,
then they fight you,
then you win.
-Mahatma Gandhi



* Facebook has tipped. It's no longer primarily for teens: It has become the world's most popular social networking site, after overtaking MySpace. Everybody is joining. Your page will only be available to your friends and you can see and connect with them easily. We're finding old friends there and even prefer doing email on Facebook -- there are pictures and daily updates and tons of fun-looking stuff you don't have time to try.

There is, however, little doubt that Facebook is owned by hyper-capitalist neocons -- http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2008/jan/14/facebook. They will make even more money if you buy the products they advertise. Don't.

And, though your privacy is not guaranteed on Facebook, the Next Step Together will never have anything to hide: We will win the world over with love and happiness.The sooner everyone knows that, the better for us all.

Finally, we will start our own, nonprofit, ethical social networking site and database, asap. But, Facebook is what is now, and every day we waste reinventing the wheel is another day 50,000 people unnecessarily die of poverty.

What's going on in Teri's world:
I want to thank all of you who wrote back or called to share your experiences of how you access the Divine. It generated lots of juicy and profound conversations. Lovely to be in the world with such myriad options of Divinity. Helps me stay connected and in touch to contemplate these things. I have also really been continuing to enjoy John Welwood's "Perfect Love Imperfect Relationships" book. I find I must read and re-read sections to stay present. I am focusing on un-shelding and un-armoring my heart (in the energectic Reichian and emotional sense). I am working this into my daily spiritual practice. It helps for me to do what I call roly poly Venus Yoga basically stretches and asanas in front of my Aphrodite statue and then one of Welwood's "presencing to love" exercises every morning. Welwood's website has a lot of great articles and I recommend them.

Those of us who have had perplexing expereinces of a incongruency in people who are spiritually adept but still somehow not whole might benefit from reading his article Embodying Your Realization : Psychological Work in the Service of Spiritual Development It introduces the concept of Spiritual Bypass, which I see as a spiritual development issue I frequently run into in the Seattle alternative communities.

I reviewed the Landmark Forum the first weekend of June and saw a big "racket" I was running. I was allowing myself to wallow in a story of being heartbroken so that my addict self could be justified in continuing to smoke cigarettes. Nothing about smoking works for me, especially as a cancer survivor. I started taking the non-smoking drug Chantix. I quit smoking Friday June 13th. It is going really well this time and I do not expereince any physical symptoms of craving nicotene, which is amazing. The key here will be my ability to stay open hearted and in love with life. I am using the Welwood exercises and my daily spiritual practice to keep an open access to the Divine.
I am going to do some breathwork sessions with Robyn Lynn of The Present Sense. She is an amazing practitioner who is also involved with both Landmark Education and an exciting social change experiment called "The Next Step Together". I'll talk about next step again in the future.

I have been blessed with several conversations with Andras Jones the creator of Radio 8 Ball http://www.radio8ball.com/ he introduced me to the Movie Black Snake Moan which. I had dismissed as potentially racist and sexist based on the trailers and cover of the DVD. I watched it found it to be quite profound about healing and sexuality and gender and the need for honor and foundational boundaries between men and daughters. I have a lot I want to communicate about this but it will have to wait until next time. I'll write again soon about the tantric implications of this movie and about my experiences with Jenny Block the author of “Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage”.
What’s happening at the Apcademy of Aphrodisiacal Living this weekend and the rest of the summer?

So Luminara Serdar will be here this weekend and is offering her Neuro Modulation Technique sessions in my house on Friday 20th only. You'll be able to find her at The Fremont Solstice fair on Saturday and Sunday as she and Peter will be selling copper cobra aromatherapy dispensers there. Here's Luminara's message to you:

I will be in Seattle and doing healing treatments one day only, on Friday, June 20 using NeuroModulation Technique (NMT), an energetic modality which addresses the control systems of the body to effect immediate and durable changes with physical symptoms. To read more about NMT, please see my website at http://www.luminaraserdar.com/nmt.php. I will most likely have my amethyst Biomat to lay on during the treatments. This device emits negative ions and far infrared rays to help the body release toxins.

Sessions can be scheduled between 10am and 7pm by calling me directly at 
541.653.0446. 

My rate is $75/hour (normally $90, but discounted for this one day I am in town).

 A session can range anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour, depending on what your body desires. We can set up the session with a time limit, or with a "body" limit, that is, we'll be done when your body feels it has had enough shift for that session.

Thank you for spreading the word, Teri!

 Blessings,
Luminara Serdar
 541.653.0446 
www.luminaraserdar.com

********

Monday June 23rd
Landmark Home Introduction for the Sex Positive Community
7:00 pm - 10:00 pm FREE!
 Seattle, WA 98115

Join Landmark Introduction leader and sex positive activist Teri Ciacchi 
in an evening of Transformation. You will have an opportunity to chose
 an area of your life where you are not experiencing yourself as
completely powerful and be guided through an exercise that allows you to 
create a new possibility for yourself and your life. Come see what all 
the buzz is about and hear what it is like to participate in the 
Landmark Forum. www.landmarkeducation.com

The Landmark Forum gives you a clear, practical and usable process to
 create breakthroughs in every area of your life, everyday. At this 
introduction you will be invited to register in the Landmark Forum,
which is a 3-day and an evening course designed to unlock the limitless
possibilities in our lives. The tuition is $495.00. The minimum deposit
for the landmark Forum is $100.00. Included in your tuition is a
ten-session seminar series where you will be coached in applying the
principles of the Landmark Forum in your life.
***********

Summer Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living Events:
(Detailed descriptions of these workshops available at

I will be traveling to Eugene Oregon to photo document the artist Judith Sparks work July 16-20th

I will be teaching Sexy Body Sexy Mind for women only with Robyn Lynn on Sat July 26th Noon-5pm $100 person

I will be Holding a Temple of the Open Heart Evening with Chris Poor on Saturday August 2nd 7-11pm $100 couple

I will have a birthday Celebration on Sunday August 3rd ( my B-day is the Friday 1st but Alicia Powers asked
me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding that night. Congrats Alicia & Dave!) late afternoon into evening we will enjoy
great food, singing, poetry and good company.

Clitoral Revelations at the Center for Sex Positive Culture on Sunday August 17th Noon-5pm $100 person

Attending & teaching at Paradise Unbound August 26th-Sept 1st
PARADISE IS COMING
Remember, the Center for Sex Positive Culture's yearly camp out is only 3 months away so get registered and save some money. If you've never been to Paradise Unbound, you are in for a treat. For seven days we feed you, educate you and entertain you and it's all just 25 minutes from Seattle, so if you don't want to camp out, you don't have to.

Invitation to an Inquiry about the Divine

June 6th Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living Newsletter
What you will find below:
A. An essay invitation about noticing the Divine within
B. List of classes and events I am hosting in June – August

A. Invitation to an Inquiry about the Divine
A lot has been on my mind lately. This month’s Solstice weekend marks a year anniversary of my weekend training with Andrew Harvey who coined the phrase “Sacred Activism” http://www.andrewharvey.net/. I have now thought for more than a year about creating a series of classes/workshops around the concept of Sacred Activism. So far this is the framework for what would occur in such a course: 1) It would involve having people create a daily spiritual practice for themselves of 15-30 minutes in duration. The purpose is to have the daily experience of the presence of the Divine in one’s life. This would create an inner reservoir of knowing the Divine to be present. Knowing not as an intellectual exercise but as a kinesthetic reality. 2) People would then track their ability to identify with their own Divinity/ capital “S” Self as to see if it expands. 3) People would create a project in their community that allows others to have similar experiences. It can be any kind of project but it needs to be something that allows the people involved to do what they love to do or be their deeper more connected Self.

In reading the works of the teachers I have found such as bell hooks “All About Love” http://www.education.miami.edu/ep/contemporaryed/Bell_Hooks/bell_hooks.html
< http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQUuHFKP-9s >

Eckhart Tolle “The Presence of Now” and “A New Earth”
www.eckharttolle.com/ -
www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPg9DnMP2D4

John Wellwood “Perfect Love Imperfect Relationships”,

I am always searching for exercises and experiences that will give people access to self-love. If we each had developed our own daily spiritual practice that put us in touch with our inner sense of Divinity and we strengthen our association/identity with that over our association with our ego identity we could help move our human consciousness forward. I believe we could begin to have daily experiences where we intentionally exercise our sense of ourselves as connected, peaceful, loving and complete. It might make a shift in our ability to sustain life on the planet.

I recently have been looking at videos on the TED website ( Thanks BettyKay!) and saw both one on a woman brain scientist who was aware when she was having a stroke and another by a brain researcher who sees that intelligence is a function of prediction. We are very close, I think to a scientific breakthrough in our ability to choose to identify and possibly consciously shift to our right hemisphere functions where we experience a sense of oneness and the dissolution of the ego. I believe, having looked into this for a while that it is in our right brain that the experience of Immanence occurs. Look at the videos and let me know what you think.
Here is the link to the ted.com video called “My Stroke of Insight” by the Jill Bolte Taylor : http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/229

And here is the talk on brain science.
http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/125
From the introduction: "Jeff Hawkins urges us to take a new look at the brain -- to see it not as a fast processor, but as a memory system that stores and plays back experiences to help us predict, intelligently, what will happen next."
He actually quotes RC theory saying that the brain looks at each new input, matches it with old/similar input, makes predictions, and acts accordingly.

If you enjoy these two, you can search for "brain" in Ted.com and find more.

The Divine not as transcendent, out there but as immanent, in here. One of my most recent experiences of this Knowing Immanence occurred during a phone call to my mother shortly after my return from visiting her in Cleveland last month. I was sitting outside on my patio facing the 15 ft tall Camilla Tree that lives there. The tree has deeply glossy dark green leaves and was filled just then with magenta blossoms. The sky was quite blue and luminous. I sat there with my Blackberry phone to my ear, speaking to my mother about her activities at the North Ridgeville VFW hall and her Tuesday night bowling league and how she was coping with the transition of my Grandmother’s recent death. Two Rufus humming birds began to flutter and dart around the tree. I gasped with wonder and delight as I then saw three swallows also come in and begin swooping around the tree. Suddenly for several minutes a golden glow cast itself over the whole scene and the birds and the tree and my mother and I were in a Holy moment. Time slowed down, I described what I was experiencing to her on the phone.

My housemate Stuart pulled up his car and moved toward me and the tree and I was able to show him what was happening and he entered the moment without disrupting or dispersing it and then as he turned to look at me and acknowledge what we saw, it ended. I said goodbye to my mother and the experience faded but I was able to keep the glow of awe and appreciation going for about an hour afterwards. Last summer I was on a major quest to expand my ability to have a sense of oneness and knowing Immanence outside of the realm of sexual experiences. I have experienced sex as a pathway to the Divine for many years and had come to see that this set me up for attachment in relationships in a way that was not always in my best interest. In other words, because I so craved to know the Divine and could easily experience this during sex with another, I got very attached to my sexual partners and quite “hooked in”. Thus when a relationship transitioned away for sexual intimacy I would be very grief stricken and have withdrawals. I was not able to maintain the same level of ecstasy in my solo sex. I wanted to expand my access to the Divine so I went to see Andrew Harvey and his workshop on Rumi the Divine Beloved and then I attended the 10-day Vipassana retreat with Jude.

I am not ready to teach Sacred Activism yet, I am still working towards it. So I am inviting all of you to look into yourself and share with me the answer to this question: “How do you access the Divine? What activities and environments bring you to the space where you know your own immanence? I want to understand all the paths to God/dess that people walk in their everyday experiences. I want to help myself and all of us have access to our own internal resources of Divinity. Please feel free to email your responses to this inquiry.

June Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living Events

Thursday June 5th
Wisdom Art Party – collage and other fun
7:00 pm - 10:00 pm FREE!
Seattle, WA 98115

This is both a Landmark Wisdom Coursework party and an art party for anyone who wants to have fun with collage. I’ve got glue, yes paste and lots of magazines as well as collage images already cut out. Come on over and make art!

Saturday, June 14 or Saturday June 21st
Super Cool Garage Sale
9am-3pm

I am taking all the stuff I won’t be moving to India & Steven’s house and we are having one Killer Garage Sale together! Don’t miss out. Come early and get lots of cool stuff way cheap. Clothing, Art, Lamps, Ritual tools, Statues, Jewelry, Books, Lots of great deals. We plan to have it on the 14th but if it rains, we will have it on the 21st.

Saturday, June 14
FLIRTING FOR EVERYONE:
HOW TO BE AN OUTRAGEOUS AND SINCERE FLIRT
with Teri Ciacchi and Allena Gabosch
3:00 PM to 5:30 PM
At the Center for Sex Positive Culture Annex
18+ $25

Flirting isn't easy. In fact, it can be downright intimidating. Add on being polyamorous or someone not looking for "the one" and it becomes even more daunting. What if you just want to be yourself, have a good time and get close to people and your intention is authenticity and love without specific goals like cohabitation or marriage? What if your goals ARE cohabitation and marriage?
What's a person to do?
While flirting may not come naturally to most people, it is a skill that anyone can learn. Teri Ciacchi and Allena Gabosch have a long history of being outrageous flirts. Join Teri and Allena as they guide you through a short series of fun exercises; sharing their flirting tips and giving you the skills to be an outrageous and shame free flirt yourself.

You will learn about:
* Touching someone in a flirty and non-threatening way
* Body postures that indicate openness
* Effective ways to communicate interest:
(no "Hey Baby, What's your sign?" "pick-up lines" allowed)
* How to tell someone you are interested in being intimate with more
than one person
* Exploring your own uncertainty about what you want
* Relating intimately without goal oriented outcomes.
* Being real with who you are and where you’re
* Feeling fear and flirting anyway

We will create a safe and friendly atmosphere and practice flirting with each other. It will be fun and relaxed while improving your ability to get what you want out of intimate relating. See you there!


Tuesday June 17th
Erotic Seattle Education Salon: “ Sex Education in WA”
Dinner @ 6:00 pm, Salon @ 7:00 pm-9:00 pm FREE!
Capitol Club 414 E Pine St (Cross Street: Bellevue Avenue)
Our June 2008 topic for the ESE Salon is "Sex Education”: Starting at the beginning of the 2008-2009 school year Washington State will join eight other states in rejecting Title V “abstinence-only-until-marriage” funding in public schools. We will discus the implications of this change in public policy. What are the characteristics of comprehensive sex education? What should kids know and when should they know it? Check out http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/real.htm for details. Come on down and we'll talk about it!

Erotic Seattle Education Sexuality Salon Discussions occur the third Tuesday of every month in Capitol Hill. A salon is an open facilitated discussion focused on a specific topic. Each Sexuality Salon will be focused on a different aspect of Sex (bet you already figured that out eh?
;-)) Salons will start at 7pm and end at 9pm and are open to all people. If you are a person that has difficulty with diversity or passionate conversation you may not want to attend.

Sex Positive intro to Landmark Mon June 23rd
Monday June 23rd
Landmark Home Introduction for the Sex Positive Community
7:00 pm - 10:00 pm FREE!

Join Landmark Introduction leader and sex positive activist Teri Ciacchi in an evening of Transformation. You will have an opportunity to chose an area of your life where you are not experiencing yourself as completely powerful and be guided through an exercise that allows you to create a new possibility for yourself and your life. Come see what all the buzz is about and hear what it is like to participate in the Landmark Forum. www.landmarkeducation.com

The Landmark Forum gives you a clear, practical and usable process to create breakthroughs in every area of your life, everyday. At this introduction you will be invited to register in the Landmark Forum, which is a 3-day and an evening course designed to unlock the limitless possibilities in our lives. The tuition is $495.00. The minimum deposit for the landmark Forum is $100.00. Included in your tuition is a ten-session seminar series where you will be coached in applying the principles of the Landmark Forum in your life.

UPCOMING Summer Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living Events:
Stay tuned as I am in the middle of negotiating another Clitoral Revelations class and a Sexy Body Sexy Mind class in Seattle for July. I am also planning to teach Clitoral Revelations in Portland and to visit Eugene. I will be at Paradise again this year the last week of August and for those of you who missed the Couples tantra workshop I did in April, look here I am doing one on my birthday weekend! Yippee…

Saturday August 2nd
Temple of the Open Heart
7:00pm-11:00pm $100 per couple
location given upon registration

Join Teri Ciacchi and her teaching partner Chris Poor as we lead you and your partner through a series of exercises guaranteed to increase intimacy and enhance closeness. Gathered from a variety of places and techniques from American Tantra as practiced by Margo Anand to the Human Awareness Institute’s “Angel Walk” and the works of Gay and Kathleen Hendricks and Julia Henderson you will be cradled in safety and surrounded by the sensuous. Be prepared to dance, sing and otherwise be inspired to relaxed full self-expression. Wear loose comfortable clothing and be sure to have eaten before you arrive. Feel free to call for details or reserve your place in advance (206) 612-3511

Personal Pelvic Viewer's now available to the public! Personal Pelvic Viewer's, invented by W. Banning Vail, and used in my Clitoral Revelations class are now available to sell to the public. Check them out on my new website at: Slotted PPV's come in petite and regular sizes for $75 and the Photo Y PPV is available for $110. This tool will give you access to understanding female genital anatomy, no more confusion about where the g-spot is. PPV's come with clear instructions for use and cleaning. Call me to order yours today! (206) 612-3511

PARADISE IS COMING and I'll be teaching there!
Remember, our yearly camp out is only 2 months away so get registered and save some money. http://www.paradiseunbound.com/

If you've never been to Paradise Unbound, you are in for a treat. For seven days we feed you, educate you and entertain you and it's all just 25 minutes from Seattle, so if you don't want to camp out, you don't have to.

Invitation to an Inquiry about the Divine

A lot has been on my mind lately. This month's Solstice weekend marks a
year anniversary of my weekend training with Andrew Harvey who coined
the phrase "Sacred Activism" http://www.andrewharvey.net/. I have now
thought for more than a year about creating a series of
classes/workshops around the concept of Sacred Activism. So far this is
the framework for what would occur in such a course: 1) It would involve
having people create a daily spiritual practice for themselves of 15-30
minutes in duration. The purpose is to have the daily experience of the
presence of the Divine in one's life. This would create an inner
reservoir of knowing the Divine to be present. Knowing not as an
intellectual exercise but as a kinesthetic reality. 2) People would then
track their ability to identify with their own Divinity/ capital "S"
Self as to see if it expands. 3) People would create a project in their
community that allows others to have similar experiences. It can be any
kind of project but it needs to be something that allows the people
involved to do what they love to do or be their deeper more connected
Self.

In reading the works of the teachers I have found such as bell hooks
"All About Love"
http://www.education.miami.edu/ep/contemporaryed/Bell_Hooks/bell_hooks.html
< http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQUuHFKP-9s >

Eckhart Tolle "The Presence of Now" and "A New Earth"
www.eckharttolle.com/ -
www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPg9DnMP2D4

John Wellwood "Perfect Love Imperfect Relationships",

I am always searching for exercises and experiences that will give
people access to self-love. If we each had developed our own daily
spiritual practice that put us in touch with our inner sense of Divinity
and we strengthen our association/identity with that over our
association with our ego identity we could help move our human
consciousness forward. I believe we could begin to have daily
experiences where we intentionally exercise our sense of ourselves as
connected, peaceful, loving and complete. It might make a shift in our
ability to sustain life on the planet.

I recently have been looking at videos on the TED website ( Thanks
BettyKay!) and saw both one on a woman brain scientist who was aware
when she was having a stroke and another by a brain researcher who sees
that intelligence is a function of prediction. We are very close, I
think to a scientific breakthrough in our ability to choose to identify
and possibly consciously shift to our right hemisphere functions where
we experience a sense of oneness and the dissolution of the ego. I
believe, having looked into this for a while that it is in our right
brain that the experience of Immanence occurs. Look at the videos and
let me know what you think.
Here is the link to the ted.com video called "My Stroke of Insight" by
the Jill Bolte Taylor : http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/229

And here is the talk on brain science.
http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/125
From the introduction: "Jeff Hawkins urges us to take a new look at the
brain -- to see it not as a fast processor, but as a memory system that
stores and plays back experiences to help us predict, intelligently,
what will happen next."
He actually quotes RC theory saying that the brain looks at each new
input, matches it with old/similar input, makes predictions, and acts
accordingly.

If you enjoy these two, you can search for "brain" in Ted.com and find
more.

The Divine not as transcendent, out there but as immanent, in here. One
of my most recent experiences of this Knowing Immanence occurred during
a phone call to my mother shortly after my return from visiting her in
Cleveland last month. I was sitting outside on my patio facing the 15 ft
tall Camilla Tree that lives there. The tree has deeply glossy dark
green leaves and was filled just then with magenta blossoms. The sky was
quite blue and luminous. I sat there with my Blackberry phone to my ear,
speaking to my mother about her activities at the North Ridgeville VFW
hall and her Tuesday night bowling league and how she was coping with
the transition of my Grandmother's recent death. Two Rufus humming birds
began to flutter and dart around the tree. I gasped with wonder and
delight as I then saw three swallows also come in and begin swooping
around the tree. Suddenly for several minutes a golden glow cast itself
over the whole scene and the birds and the tree and my mother and I were
in a Holy moment. Time slowed down, I described what I was experiencing
to her on the phone.

My housemate Stuart pulled up his car and moved toward me and the tree
and I was able to show him what was happening and he entered the moment
without disrupting or dispersing it and then as he turned to look at me
and acknowledge what we saw, it ended. I said goodbye to my mother and
the experience faded but I was able to keep the glow of awe and
appreciation going for about an hour afterwards. Last summer I was on a
major quest to expand my ability to have a sense of oneness and knowing
Immanence outside of the realm of sexual experiences. I have experienced
sex as a pathway to the Divine for many years and had come to see that
this set me up for attachment in relationships in a way that was not
always in my best interest. In other words, because I so craved to know
the Divine and could easily experience this during sex with another, I
got very attached to my sexual partners and quite "hooked in". Thus when
a relationship transitioned away from sexual intimacy I would be very
grief stricken and have withdrawals. I was not able to maintain the same
level of ecstasy in my solo sex. I wanted to expand my access to the
Divine so I went to see Andrew Harvey and his workshop on Rumi the
Divine Beloved and then I attended the 10-day Vipassana retreat with
Jude.

I am not ready to teach Sacred Activism yet, I am still working towards
it. So I am inviting all of you to look into yourself and share with me
the answer to this question: "How do you access the Divine? What
activities and environments bring you to the space where you know your
own immanence? I want to understand all the paths to God/dess that
people walk in their everyday experiences. I want to help myself and all
of us have access to our own internal resources of Divinity. Please feel
free to email your responses to this inquiry.

You will be revealed by your actions

Let it be Known

To the person(s) who sent me the anonymous letter dated 5/16/08 mailed from a 981 zip code. You are engaging in the following legally defined crimes; libel, slander and harassment, (feel free to look it up if you need to be sure). I am filing a third police report. I want you to stop spending your time and energy trying to upset me. Everything you do is transformed into positive action that strengthens my resolve to be completely self-expressed and empowered in my work. I will gladly meet you and engage with you in person or on the phone to discuss your concerns. You clearly know my address and phone number. Although your letter ends with an offer for me to call you, you forgot to leave any identifiable contact information.

Let it be known that I am open to clearing anything from the past with any person(s) who will meet with me and agree to non-violently communicate their issues and concerns. I am willing to openly negotiate and behaviorally define “non-violent” in advance of our meeting. I urge anyone who has incomplete, unresolved communications with me to get in communication with me as long as that communication comes from an authentic clearly identified source and is held to my definition of “non-violence”. Show yourself. Identify yourself. Have the courage to come forward and be as open to scrutiny and opinionated judgment as I am. Stand behind your concerns and speak your mind freely and deal with the consequences as I do. I commit myself to investigating whatever shadow part of my own inner nature has helped to manifest your behaviors. If I have offended, upset or hurt you, then openly communicate your grievances to me. Allow me the opportunity to make amends. I am willing to look at and listen to any injury I may have caused you. I am human. I make mistakes. Please forgive me.

To any and all people who have engaged in the anonymous and repeated attempts to interfere with my work and my peace of mind and my financial success and my stable housing since Monday May 6, 2008:You will stop harassing me immediately. You will stop calling innocent workers whose time and energy you are wasting by sending in fake requests for services and help. You will stop using the anonimity of the internet to trick people by falsely responding to their requests in my name. You will immediately stop interfering with my life work by calling any one I am doing business with and lying about me.

Let it be known that I am doing everything I can to identify you including considering hiring a private investigator. If I choose to do this I will follow up this action by hiring a lawyer to sue you for defamation of character, libel, slander and harassment. I will make my decision by the next dark moon.

I affirm that we are connected in a common humanity. I surround you in light. I pray that the miraculous and healing power of love that guides me will enter you and transform your upset into compassion. May the energy you have been spending to interfere with me be transformed into a powerful urge to become self-aware. I declare that you will stop your projections of self-loathing and fear and refocus on self-actualization and liberation. May you come to know the true power and protection of living by the guidance of your inner divinity instead of the fears of your ego.

I exist within in a Circle of Divine Protection,
I operate in accordance with Universal Law,
In the names of Aphrodite, Isis, Hecate, Minerva and Lord Ganesha
I declare that all persons acting with the intent to harm me have been stopped.
As I Will it So Mote it Be!

Teri Dianne Ciacchi aka TerraFire
Tuesday May 20th 2008
(206) 612-3511

Ballard Odd Fellow's Hall "Does the Right Thing"

Here is the copy of the Press Release issued by Bob Duniway the Grand Lodge Master I hope I got that title correct) of the Odd Fellow's. Please feel free to send him a thank you note.

Ballard Odd Fellows

Contact: Bob Duniway For Immediate Release
Phone: (206)372-4164
Email: rduniway@seattleu.edu


COMPLAINTS RECEIVED ABOUT KINKY CARNIVAL EVENT IN BALLARD
Ballard Odd Fellows Respond to Controversy


On the evening of Saturday, May 10th the 4th Annual Kinky Carnival is taking place in the Ballard Odd Fellows Hall on Market Street. While the event is advertised as “A delightful and safe playground for the secret (or not so secret) hedonist in you.” at least a few individuals don’t see it as delightful. The Ballard Odd Fellows have received a few phone calls from upset individuals threatening to disrupt the event with protests and by calling the police.

The Odd Fellows, who are not involved with organizing or sponsoring the event, but merely renting out their hall, were taken by surprise by these messages. “When this group approached us about renting the hall, we had a clear conversation with them about respecting our neighbors and not being willing to rent if the event would be disruptive,” said Bob Duniway, past President of the lodge, “so we were initially concerned that they were violating that agreement with their advertising.” Specifically, the lodge representatives had been assured that advertising would be tasteful and low key, and that nothing in the advertising would imply that the event was being sponsored or endorsed by the Odd Fellows. “From all the advertising material we have seen so far, there isn’t any association between this group and our lodge. So some individuals or a group went to extra effort of finding our hall rental phone numbers and called us to complain and threaten action.”

The fact that the lodge rented the hall for this event was not viewed as a judgment about the nature of the event on the part of the lodge. “We have a hall available for rent, and a community organization approached us wanting to hold an event. We signed a rental agreement after discussing the nature of the event, and being assured it would not involve any illegal conduct, endanger the building or anyone in the building, and wouldn’t disturb the neighbors. The Ballard Odd Fellows are not a particularly judgmental group, and we didn’t make a judgment either condoning or condemning what people were going to be doing in this event. Apparently there are a few people who feel differently, and who are going to some trouble to try to prevent or disrupt this event. At this point there is some danger that protests may disturb the community when the event itself otherwise wouldn’t.” Duniway observed. “Hopefully it won’t turn out that way.”

Harassment of the Kinky Carnival

Harassment

On Tuesday morning I called the Seattle North precinct Police Department to request that a report be taken for the following harassments: 1) various limousine and taxi cabs were called and reserved in my name and with my phone number, My count is that there were 9 of these reservations made. The first call I received from a limousine waiting outside my house to take me to the airport occurred on Monday may 5th at 6:15am PST, at the time I was with my mother at her eye doctor appointment in Cleveland Ohio 9:15am CST. The last call I received from a taxi service that was reserved by someone else in my name was on Tuesday morning around 9:30am. By this time I was apologizing and asking the taxi dispatcher for information about the person who had made the reservation. Susan Alhadeethy (a lovely helpful person who was sorry I had been harassed), of the Airport Limousine service (206) 551 9477 told me a woman using my name and phone number had placed the call. This kind of blew my theory as I was imaging that the person making the phone calls was the same guy that had started stalking my friend Rosemary just two days earlier.

The second form of harassment I experienced was also a fake identity over the phone situation but this one took more time and involved the use of Craig's list. I received a call from a man named Jay who said he was calling me because I had responded to his ad on Craig’s list. This man was kind enough to read the text of the email to me, it was " I need you, I want you , Call me right now!" with my name and phone number. I am grateful that this man was brave enough to talk with me for a moment. I explained that while the contact info was mine, I had not responded to his ad on Craig's list. I apologized for the inconvenience and wished him well. It was 11:20pm and I was at SeaTac airport I had just gotten off a delayed flight from Detroit, MI. Through out the day I had been receiving phone calls from blocked numbers and private numbers, I would say I received about 6 of these calls. When I answered the phone I said, Hello this is Teri Ciacchi can I help you and the person on the other end of the phone would hang up. I do not know it this is the same person or many people but I do think it possible that they could have been other people, like Jay , who had been given my information as If I were responding to a Casual encounters ad on Craig's list. Fits in with the stalker dude profile I think, I wonder if it's that guy?

The third form of harassment has been much more alarming as it intentionally incited fear and upset. People made calls and sent emails to the Caretakers of the Ballard Odd fellow’s hall complaining about the Kinky Carnival being held there and intentionally misrepresenting my work. Below is part of the text of an email send to the caretakers by a man claiming to be writing on behalf of himself and his wife. The email address given is: "Jim Stuart"
And this is the partial text that I am most concerned about:
" This woman, Teri Ciacchi openly advertises a sex business on the Internet (pretty stupid), seems to have a house of prostitution, but calls the staff "sacred intimates". Lt. Eric Sano, commander of the Seattle Police Department's vice unit has been aware of her operation for sometime and had already received numerous other complaints about this public sex event you are having May 10th. I think you will be getting some press on this that will not be favorable."

Now I immediately want to defend myself. And refute each part of these false accusations and I may do that here in my blog if I have time later today but I am pretty busy trying to get the Carnival together in the middle of all this harassment. Those of you who are familiar with my work as an internationally known sexologist and sex positive therapist and know how that differs from prostitution can immediately see why this type of harassment alarms me. I am going to file a second police report today based on the contents of this email ( which I received last night). I also now have a partial log of the phone calls that were made. It seems that people giving the following names called the caretakers on Monday afternoon May 6th, same day as I got the taxis and limos sent to my home: an alleged George Houser called on behalf of himself and his wife, an alleged Serene Jacobson called and then a woman calling herself both Mary Skyler and Mary Carter and giving the phone numbers 425-455-8820 and 206 555-9822 called the caretakers twice on Monday and again yesterday morning. She also placed a phone call to an officer of the Odd fellows Hall on Monday afternoon. In addition to making the accusations about me being a prostitute and running a show of live sex acts and besmirching the community of Ballard with my dangerous sexy self, these people claimed to have received a flyer sent to their homes. What I believed actually happened is that they found this blog and read it out loud to the caretakers as if it were something they had received in the mail. I have not seen an actual flyer and I did not mail anything to anyone’s home.

The callers have promised a protest and to call the police etc. ad finitim ad nauseum. I have called the police and called the reporters. The Caretakers of the Odd Fellows Hall have been informed not to take any more of these calls if possible. The Lodge master of the Odd Fellows hall has assured me they will not pull the event. The Grand Lodge master has issued a press release in support of my renting their venue. I am giving an interview on KIRO radio with Erin Covin this afternoon. I am going to stop typing this email in order to do a couples counseling session and then I will return to the work of generating the Kinky Carnival.

It's Kinky Carnival TIme!

Wow, It's almost here: The 4th Annual Kinky Carnival!
Saturday May 10th $25 at the door

It's being held at the Ballard Odd Fellows Hall at 1706 NW Market.

Check out this article about last year’s Kinky Carnival
"Kinkfest provides a room to romp If your curiosity, um, is aroused"
By ATHIMA CHANSANCHAI
P-I REPORTER


We have 2 new booths: Bite: Receive a bite on your area of choice
Ask: No question too Kinky, no non Kinky question too strange.
in addition to all the regulars: Kiss, Cuddle, Pierce, Whack,
Sensation, Rope, Submit, Zap, Yum, Pierce, Confess, & Ground.
We are so organized this year! And the performances are better
than ever, Moorea Mallatt, Adra, WIll Wright with D,J, Lui Ying.
Tickets are available at Babeland, WIld at heart and on line at
Brown Paper TIckets!

Life in GreenLake

Last posting was in July after my Vipassana retreat. many many events since then. I was diagnosed with Endomitrial Cancer on Sept 9th and had a full hysterectomy on Sept 27th and was moved into a new house with roomates Beckie & Robyn on Oct 1st. SO many things so swiftly. Now it is the very end of November. Robyn has moved into a new house in West Seattle and Stuart is moving in with Beckie and I here in Greenlake. I have been immersed throughout my illness and recovery in the Landmark Education program called "Introduction to Leaders Program". This means that for 10-20 hours a week I study and intern to become a Landmark Home Introduction Leader. It is a new skill set for me that really calls for new behavior in many areas of my life.

I am struggling with medical bills as I had no insurance and still needed to get the operation that removed cancer from my body. I am grateful that they performed the operation without requiring money up front. I know I will find a way to pay for everything but honestly I am now strugggling to make sure that worry about money does not recreate the energetic place of being physically ill. I believe I am learning a great many things on a deep level of consciousness that I cannot articulate well. I know that I am learning these things because my behavior is changing and my reality is changing and I am keeping up with it. In Sept I was living in a studio apartment by myself on First Hill. Now I live in a luxurious house with a spa tub and a garden next to a big lake. The house is called The Center for Embodiment and it is definately a place where community occurs.

Stay tuned for more info soon.
Blessings,
Teri

Is it July already? Vipassana's Sacredly Activated

Summer, Blessed Summer is here! I am a Leo baby ( August 1^st ) and always feel my best in the summer!

I have some lovely experiences to offer you this week and sincerely hope you’ll join me: Holistic Peer Counseling Thursday, Temple of the Open Heart for Women Friday, Brianca’s amazing video on Saturday and Wicked Strip on Sunday! Sex Positive Community and Emotional well being for everyone, Hooray!

I am freshly mentally flossed from my 12 day Vipassana meditation retreat. Vipassana is a very pure, simple form of meditation which is believed to have come directly from the work of Gatama the Buddha.

My dear friend Jude went with me and we spent 10 days doing a rigorous routine that went like this: awake 4am * meditate 4:30-6:30am * breakfast 6:30 free time until meditating again 8-9am * meditate again 9am-11am * Lunch 11am-1pm * meditate 1-5pm * tea & fruit at 5pm * meditate 6-7pm * discourse video with S.N. Goenka 7-8:15pm * meditate 8:15pm-9pm * questions with teachers * lights out at 10pm Sleep. This was my schedule for 10 days. Oh yes and did I mention you cannot talk except: 1)to ask the manager for something when you have an emergency need such as a flashlight or 2) to have a private or public question with the teachers. For the first three days you are simply focusing on the natural flow of your breath in the small triangular space between your upper lip and around your nostrils. This is called anapanna. On the 4^th day you actually learn Vipassana which is focusing on physical sensations and becoming neutral about whatever cravings or aversions arise in your consciousness. On the 7^th day there begins a focus called “fierce determination” where for an hour on three separate occasions you attempt to not move your arms and legs or open your eyes.

I learned a LOT about how my mind works. I learned without doubt about all of my physical addictions and my overall levels of fear, desire, love and self-acceptance. I had one long experience of ecstatic bliss accompanied by a vision and physical shaking. I had many more hours of distraction and disappointment with my inability to focus on reality. I experienced my ability to overcome physical sensations and distractions. I got crystal clear on my flaws and my strengths.

I also enjoyed my amusing, bizarre and creative mind. There is quite the juke box in my head. I wrote a comic book, made up new Podcasts, redesigned my website, and came up with lots of new workshops. Such is the nature of desire in a human form. And hey, I survived and I feel really strong, maybe even a bit invincible, (anybody else hear a Helen Reddy song in there, geesh!).

I also had a wonderful time visiting my family in North Ridgeville, Ohio and deeply took in the 3 day Andrew Harvey workshop in New York. I am going to write about it all in more detail, so be ready to check out my blog again after a 2 month hiatus.

I’m glad to be back to my Seattle life. I am taking a deep look into my desire to have a stronger sense of family and thinking about intentional community again.

I forget I'm Holy and remember the Kinky Carnival

Well sometimes I am just “in it”. I am not aware of being holy I am not well, I am depressed and cynical and disappointed in myself and other humans. This morning is one of those times. The best way to transform this is to express gratitude and appreciation for what I do have in my life rather than obsessing about what I do not have. Here then, is a list of what I have in my life and who I am being in my life. Last night in the Living Passionately seminar I am taking at Landmark, Michelle Buchanan asked us to answer the question, what is our life being used for.

I immediately said that my life is being used for Human Liberation and Sexual Healing.

My life is being used for Human Liberation and Sexual Healing. I have gratitude and appreciation for my ability to do this work and for being given the opportunity and skills to provide space for other people to heal. I held an Aphrodite Temple for 24 people over the weekend. Creating and maintaining Sacred Sexual space for people in a group of that size is challenging. It was a first time experience for all but 4 of the people who participated. A lot of energy was raised and continues to resonate in our lives from that co-created experience. I am grateful for the gift of being able to channel Divine energy at this level.

I have safe and stable housing. I have an abundance of money which comes to me from doing my true life’s work which is the transformational work of sexual healing and the liberation that comes from this healing.

I have an amazing strong and unending connection with my family of origin. I know they are there for me and love me fiercely.

I am deeply loved and held as a healer and spiritual teacher by an unknown ( but definitely large) number of people. I have been able to be a loving influence in their lives.

I am given an ongoing supply of ideas and deep intuitive knowing that provide the inspiration for my classes and workshops.

I can invent and then co-create amazing community events like the Kinky Carnival and know that literally hundreds of people will enthusiastically volunteer to manifest it and hundreds of people will attend and have meaningful and potentially transformative experiences.

This list is the tip of the iceberg and now I feel very present to my value and worth in the world.

Today I am working on the Kinky Carnival, getting it up off the ground. I am excited!

If you want to get involved in the Kinky Carnival as either a volunteer or an attendee please contact me.

Reverently Sex Positive by Teri D. Ciacchi MSW

The following essay was written in direct response to an article by Jim Goad entitled "Positively Sex Negative" published in the Feb 07 issue of Seattle's Underground magazine. The underground is a magazine full of adds for erotic events and services whihc has advertising from Seattle Erotic Art Festival ( via the Wet Spot) local burlesque troups and other performance artists and erotic photographers etc. You can find a copy in a coffee shop near you in Seattle ( well for a little while longer at least). I was so offended by Mr. Goad's article that I called the magazine editor John Voge and after a few conversations wrote this response which will be published in the March 07 issue.

“Ridicule is generally made use of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking everything praiseworthy in human life.”

Joseph Addison

As the creatrix of the TerraFire Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living, , my life work is creating a sex positive culture that is respectful and empowering for all people. Obviously "all people", includes people in wheel chairs, people who are HIV positive, fat pagan women like myself, and unfortunately even Jim Goad. In his "Positively Sex Negative" essay, Goad solidly aims his ridicule at people whom he identifies with the term sex positive. As a person who has been intentionally building sex positive culture for more than twenty years, I assert that Goad is ignorantly attacking the very people who have made it possible for him to have a forum of free speech on sexuality that is openly available in public venues. In the 1980's, right here in the good old U.S. of A, it was not okay to have a magazine with explicit photographs of women wearing fetish gear in the lobby of a coffee shop, or the local Sex Positive Community Center. What's that? You've never heard of the S.P.C.C.? Oh that's right, you probably don't belong to the Wet Spot, (which now has over 9,000 members), because you are sex negative. Still it is in the lobby of this amazing non-profit organization that I found your hate-mongering article.

Lest I be accused of being from a "protected background" with a trust fund, (and where the hell are you from with your predictable misogynist, able-bodied, prejudicial ranting?), I will begin with data regarding my origin. I am from an Italian, German and French, working class, blue-collar family in the rural outskirts of Cleveland, Ohio. My father was a concrete foreman whose true love was drag racing. In her late thirties my mother worked at McDonald's to afford classes at the local community college. Just last month she retired from her decades long work in the procurement dept of the U.S. Navy. I am the only person in my immediate family to have college degrees and I got them through the blood sweat and tears of my family's work ethic. I created and continue to run my own business providing counseling and adult sex education classes. My expertise in the field of sexology comes from 10 years of providing sexual healing, adult education and counseling. And yes, as a matter of fact, my work does provide liberation for people. Freedom from not only the " rusty shackles" of Puritanism but also the poisonous cages of self-loathing and isolation that cause them to project their loathing onto others in the form of verbal, psychological, physical and sexual abuse.

Now, what does sex positive mean? Dr. Carol Queen offers this definition: "Sex-positive, a term that's coming into cultural awareness, isn't a dippy love-child celebration of orgone – it's a simple yet radical affirmation that we each grow our own passions on a different medium, that instead of having two or three or even half a dozen sexual orientations, we should be thinking in terms of millions. 'Sex-positive' respects each of our unique sexual profiles, even as we acknowledge that some of us have been damaged by a culture that tries to eradicate sexual difference and possibility."
Excerpt from "Real Live Nude Girl: Chronicles of Sex Positive Culture" © 1997 Cleis Press

Sociology is the study of human society, and the field of study where the history of social change movements can be found. Anyone wishing to learn about this can read these books: Feminist Theory from Margin to Center by bell hooks, Dismantling Privilege by M. E. Hobgood, Race Class and Gender, an Anthology By Andersen & Collins, the Sociologically Examined Life by Michael Schwalbe and many others available in public libraries.

Sex Positivity is one of the most recent developments in a legacy of human rights campaigns. The sex positive movement has its roots in the civil rights campaigns of the 50's and 60's. I owe my passion for sexual liberation to my study of Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Emma Goldman, and others who bravely followed their own conscience when the culture they lived in opposed it. As a sex positive activist I am aligned with the feminist and gay liberation movements I grew up in and the transgendered, intersexed and gender fluid civil rights movements of today.

"None are so hopelessly enslaved as those who falsely believe they are free.” Goethe

Incest, rape, sexual assault, abuse and harassment would not exist in sex positive culture. The term sex offender would be obsolete. Being raised in the mainstream culture of the U.S.A. provides social indoctrination that predisposes people to have experiences of sexual oppression, exploitation, and repression. Relationship role models are based on non-consensual domination and submission. Sex is a commodity that is bought and sold rather than an act of intimacy or pleasure freely exchanged. We use and are used by sex in order to find acceptance, approval, punishment and reward rather than moving into sex from self-respect or honoring acts of lust as a natural impulse.

Goad's writing is a perfect example of the immature, empathy impaired, average American male representation of sex. A dangerous combination of impoverished sexual self-esteem, limited and unsatisfying sexual experiences, inability to investigate authentic desire and a refusal to believe in the possibility of other perspectives. Like a boy with no skill in ejaculatory control he squirts his opinions at us without concern for where they land. As if the mere fact that he can come, and his rooster crowing assertions of virility give him any stature as a sexually desirable human being. Proclaiming who you want to fuck as worthy of having sexual existence and who you do not want to fuck as unworthy of sexual existence is neither sex positive or sex negative, Mr. Goad, it is simply narcissistic.

Greetings Divine Beings:

Imbolc, or Groundhog's Day with a full moon in Leo was last Friday Feb
2nd. Imbolc is a lunar Wiccan High Holy Day. It is a time of
"Quickening" when the flame of the spirit reenters the Earth element.
Wow what a great day to get recharged. I had a great evening staying
home and getting organized. I also had an opportunity to listen to a
CD
of Andrew Harvey's talk fro the 6th annual conference on Shamanism and
sacred sexuality. Several of my friends attended and I am inspired to
go next year. I also had seen a DVD of his keynote speech. Thanks to
Dawn F. for giving me access to these as well as 2 CD's of Margot
Anand.

Andrew Harvey is a Gay Mystic, Tantric Scholar and radical
environmentalactivist who holistically ties many threads of body and spiritual
practices together. He is a true visionary who explains in his work
that the purpose of practicing Tantra is to attain states of bliss
thatawaken our beings/consciousness to our immanent divinity. He calls us
to do this work so we can awaken and tend to the environmental crisis of
the planet at this time. The Earth as the Divine Feminine, the Mother
Goddess is suffering due to the lack of balance between the masculine
and feminine. This theme continues to be repeated in my presence over
the last 2 months. I feel called to give myself to the cause of sexual
healing even more urgently. I am going to be more fully expressed in
offering my work and these messages to the world this year. I feel
both inspired and supported.

Today I spent the afternoon in a support group for Urban Priestesses.
Women who do energy and light work, women who do sex work, women who
do whole body healing, and women who are allies of these works. I had the
delightful experience of hearing from these women that they were aware
of my work and had been hoping to meet me. One woman even expressed
that she had first been exposed to open sexual exploration at the
Kinky Carnival. She attributed her current work to attending that event. I
was so moved.

I am more and more present to the impact I actually do have.
I feel strong and proud and blessed and seen. I want to let all of you
know how much I appreciate your interest and support of my work. If
there is anything I can do to further encourage your sexual healing
and sensuous liberation, please let me know.
In love and gratitude, Teri Ciacchi aka TerraFire.

February Offerings from TerraFire Academy

Temple of the Open Heart: Education for Ecstatic Being
Friday February 16th 7:00-10:00 pm $20
& Saturday February17th 1:00-5:00 pm $40 ( both for $50)
Friday March 2nd 7:00-10:00 pm $20 Fri evening only
At Temple of the Senses 6529 Latona Ave.

Teri Ciacchi and Ki Rohn lead you into the Now Moment with activities
that bring your awareness and focus back into your
body. We will be dancing, eye gazing, heart connecting, and learning
other simple powerful practices that will increase your intimacy
building skills, celebrate the ecstatic nature of your body and
acknowledge
the divine source within us all.
Please feel free to call or email to register or ask questions.
Ki Rohn is a Tantric masseuse who practices in Vancouver B.C.
www.massagebyki.com Teri D. Ciacchi MSW is a counselor and sex
educator in Seattle


"Get What you Want!": Flirting skills for Everyone
Sunday February 18th 5:30 to 7:30pm $20
Wild at Heart 1111 NW Leary Way in Ballard

Flirt for fun! Flirt for Friendship! Flirt for Sex! Flirt for
partnership!
Flirting has many intentions and all of them are valid and uplifting!
Do the people you flirt with enjoy you? Learn the body language
signals that are universal indications of interest. Become
conscious of what your own body language is saying, and also how
other people read it. Practice flirting in a fun and safe place. Trust
Teri to show you how being sexy can be fun!


My Funny Valentine with Allena Gabosch & Teri Ciacchi
Tuesday February 20th Erotic Seattle Education Salon
Dinner 6:00 pm discussion 7:00-9:00 pm FREE
Capitol Club 414 E Pine St (Cross St: Bellevue Avenue)
Let's create a light-hearted discussion of sexuality at it's most
hilarious.
Share your own humorous sex stories or tattle on others. Lost condoms,
"misplaced clitori", bad lube choices, getting caught "red-handed and
red-faced" in the act; you know you've been there. Join us for an
evening of sex positive laughter and hilarity.

Rage Release Workshop with Teri Ciacchi
Friday Feb 23rd 7:00 pm-10:00 pm $20
Home Alive studio 1415 10th Ave 2nd floor Suite #3
Teri Ciacchi leads this workshop specifically designed to allow for a
deep catharsis of anger. Participants will work in groups of three
with
boxing gloves, safety pads and punching bags to release pent up
frustrations and rage. Safety precautions and instructions on how to
have healthy release will be covered. This workshop is perfect for
people who know they are angry and easily triggered. Most of us
have never had a safe place to let go without fear of retaliation,
judgment or blame. Here is your opportunity to begin a journey towards
wholeness and self-acceptance around anger. Don't wait until you
accidentally explode and cause yourself to lose a job or relationship.
As with all other TerraFire Academy classes this workshop is open
to all genders. Because of the psychological impact and healing nature
of this workshop pre-registration is required. People who have not
previously worked in a counseling or teaching relationship with Teri
will need to have a phone consultation with her prior to the class.

The TerraFire Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living:
Sex Positive Revolution: One Orgasm at a Time
(206) 612-3511 blog:

A Common definition of love

Here is my response to the seattle polyamory group postings defining love from 1/ 13/07

Yikes, the idea of love being "putting someone else's needs before your own", gives me the creeps. I think that is called fusion, (a polite term for codependence).

Here are the definitions of love that I teach in my classes and counseling practice:

"To truly love, we must learn to mix various ingredients- care, affection, recognition, respect, commitment, and trust, as well as honest and open communication."
bell hooks All About Love

"Love is the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth."
"Love is as love does. Love is an act of will-namely both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice.
We do not have to love. We choose to love."
From The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck

It is my belief that unless we are clear in our language about the definition and meaning of words, we are not truly communicating.I strive to share or co-create a definition of love with people I want to be in intimate relationships with. I have learned with both pain and ease, that the term "polyamory" does not mean the same thing behaviorally to others as it does to me. I have actually begun to question whether the term is useful. I wonder, in fact, what words are useful without being defined???? I know that I definately have loving relationships at various levels of intimacy with more than one persons of more than two genders in more than 5 varieties of sexual acts and more than seven prefered role playing scenarios with over 10 toys and tools involved. Is that polyamory?

I'm not sure. I do know however, for myself, that it is not love if it does not involve stewardship of my own and another's personal growth. "Love is as love does" and requires behavior that goes above and beyond my ego-identified "wanting". The great thing about defining love is that it can then be enacted clearly and specifically. You can see if your behavior and the behavior of others is in line with the definition. If it falls short you can set out to learn the skills that are lacking. So love can become a skill that is developed. Most of the time our culture acts as if love is a mysterious cloud of FATE that we accidently fall into and become enchanted by. OOPs, what was that I stepped in?
With a little attention and intention we can commit to being love/loving. Using the hooks definiton we can go through each word and see where we have skill and where skill needs to be developed.

Let's take a minute and look at "open and honest communication" one of the 7 ingredients bell hooks requires in her definition of love.
It might be for example that a person does not have the skill of self-awareness that allows them to be in open and honest,(meaning, loving) communication with another. They might have had experiences that lead them to chose to withold information or deliberately "spin" information in the hopes of avoiding rejection or winning approval.A person at this level of development needs to become self-loving and self-accepting before they can be in honest and open communication with another person. They will also need an emotional spaciousness, a place of safety and respect where they can look at and be with their own internal process. They will need an environment where they truly are not being judged in order for them to have the experience of being accepted. If I am not certain who I am or how I feel, if I am not communicating openly and honestly with myself, how can I communicate in such a manner with you? I cannot. If you are "demanding" that I communicate honestly with you there is already judgment present that may inhibit my ability to speak the truth. If love is to be present, there must be room for every one to: 1) look inside and examine their experiences and 2)have a safe environment that allows authentic self- expression without punishment or reward. That's all for now!

Blessings,
Teri D. Ciacchi MSW
podcast: blog:
Creatrix of TerraFire Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living
Creating Sex-Positive Revolution, One Orgasm at a time.

Immense gratitude for Podcast & $1,000 in 24 hours

Jan 15th Blog entry
Sex Positive Revolutionaries, Visionaries, and Sexplorers

1st Podcast available on the web
I am so excited, Allena, David W. and I just completed our 1st podcast yesterday. It is our intention to do a new installment every 3 weeks. So here it is, Please check it out and give me your feedback. Please forward it to all your friends. It was so much fun to make, I hope you will find it fun to listen to.

http://web.mac.com/tazie
is the web address for "It's a Weenie White Boy World" podcast Episode #1
you'll have to cut and paste because apparently this blog does not support adding links.

Causing Miracles
I decided to be outrageous and "completely unreasonable" after attending my Landmark Living Passionately seminar last Thursday night. I had heard about an amazing internet service opportunity which would allow me to have everything I need to run my TerraFire Academy business website, blog, email etc, including the bandwidth required to support our new podcasing. If I paid $1000.00 by Monday January 15th, I could receive the services I needed (actually quite a bit more than I can currently utilize but will gladly grow into) for life. That's right for the rest of my life, or the life of the company whichever comes first. My beloved friend David Besonen helped me find this opportunity and facilitated the entire process. So I needed to find $1,000.00 by Midnight Sunday Jan 14th (tonight). I decided on Friday morning to call David B. and get all the info I needed to attempt to cause this miracle. I wrote a script detailing all the reasons why supporting this effort financially would be a good idea. At 5pm on Friday Jan 12th I started making phone calls. On Saturday Jan 13th at 3:30pm I had reached my goal. Tomorrow morning I will sign up for these services.

"Thank You!"s

Here are the people who made this miracle occur through their emotional and financial support: (Initials are used when last names will cause potential "outing" problems.)

David Besonen whose computer consultation resume is at: http://digitalrelief.com

Allena Gabosch, David W., Heather R., Gordon N. Rev., Rainbow Love, Eric J., Robyn Lynn, Connie Perez, Mistress Marry, Lisa, Vickie & Carrie Lynn at Wild at Heart, Kristin R., Susan H., O'Rion Barker, Jim B. who provides my cel phone, Gabriel A., Ki Rohn

Thanks to the following members of my Landmark family who sourced my attendance at the Living Passionately seminar, which sourced the energy to perform this miracle: Paul G., Rachel E., Justina, Allena & Heather

I also want to thank all of my counseling clients and people who attend my classes and workshops. You make my life work. Thanks for your support of my work! If anyone else would like to provide financial support for the continued expansion of my business please keep reading.

Yes, I want to deepen my support of sex positive culture

Yes, I want to continue and deepen my support of sex positive culture by supporting the work of Teri Ciacchi the TerraFire Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living.

This is an invitation for you to more deeply contribute to building sex positive culture through empowering my life work. My life work is "creating a healing sex positive culture that is respectful and empowering for all people". Being a contribution to meeting my goal is an opportunity to feel fulfilled, acknowledged and valued. This is an opportunity to be known as an advocate for sex positive culture and to connect to others doing this work. I will promote your gifts to me by acknowledging you in my newsletters on my website, in my podcasts or in any other manner you request.

My goal for TerraFire Academy this year is to go grow from my current ability to reach 877 people (current number of people receiving my email newsletters) to 8,000 through website, newsletters and podcasts. I have started creating the "weenie white boy world" podcast with
Allena Gabosch & David W.

Here are some of the things I need to grow my business.

I have a new laptop (thank you Alicia Powers!!) but need a Windows XP operating system. Does anyone have one?

I am currently looking for a website graphic designer. Any suggestions of people who provide these services or offers to help provide the service your self would be gladly accepted. I need to raise the funds to pay for this service.

I want to send out twice monthly email newsletters with graphics and pleasing easy to read text fonts. This will require me to either, pay for more education and learn to do this myself. Pay an internet email newsletter company to do this, pay some other geek who knows how to do this to do it.

I also would love any or all of the following items, I mean hey, why not ask? A blender, a toaster oven, a crock pot, a scanner, an i-pod, a blow dryer

So here is what I am up to. Anyone who wants to deepen their support of my work is welcome to do any of the following:

1) Gift me with any amount of money they wish (from $5.00 to $1,000.00)

2) Consider giving me a specific amount of money which will be used as payment in advance for my services*, you will then get coupons for the specific amount given. These coupons will be honored across any amount of time until you have received services equivalent to the amount paid. Coupons will be valued at the rates I am charging when the coupons are redeemed. Please see below * for a reminder of the vast array of services I provide.

3) Loan me any amount of money so I can meet my goals to have a new working laptop, and a new website with much better graphic design. My preference would be to get no interest loans. I am however, open to negotiating any form or repayment that is workable.

*My services include all of my classes and workshops, individual or couple or "adult family of choice" counseling sessions, and mediation. Coaching and emotional support for any life situation and ongoing goal setting and achievement. Teaching of communication skills, dating and other relationship skills. Consultation on how to do fundraisers, and any other business info relevant to how I have built my business up from $12,000.00 top $31,000 in one year are also included. My esoteric services include Natal Astrology charts and interpretations, Tarot readings, ritual consultation and enactment.

Polyamory, Non-Dualism & the Ego-identified self

WhatI posted to Seattle Polyamory Yahoo Group list Jan. 11,2007

Polyamory, Non-Dualism & the Ego-identified self
Identity, Morality, Personal Freedom, Projections, and Judgments, all of these themes are running through the correspondence on sea-poly for the last few weeks. I frequently read the postings but rarely write. I just returned home from a Landmark Living Passionately seminar and found myself making a commitment to be more fully alive. One way that I interpret being more alive is that I will actualize my potential to connect and communicate with others in dialogue (albeit written conversation rather than 3-D) rather than just reading and engaging in my own monologue.

An underlying theme in many of the posts is Dualism. The dominant world religions are dualistic. The religious doctrines of dualist religions have created the dualistic paradigms that we have been socialized in. Most of us do not recognize that dualism is culturally imposed human structure. I have a BA in Human Ecology from a private women's school in Columbia Missouri ( 1983, hey, I did say I am 44!). I became an Eco-feminist there. I learned academic language there. I used to call dualism a "false dichotomy". I think I got this from reading Shalimuth Firestone or Marge Piercy or Simone De Beauvior or some other "smart chick". When I use the language I learned at school it tends to alienate me from others so I have been looking for simpler words.

Late in 2006 I went to see Kate Borenstein, the famous queer author, activist and gender warrior. She taught me to say "Either/Or" Thinking. Let's simplify all of this and look at the idea that whenever a person or social structure asks you to chose between two things, to make an "Either/Or" choice that such a choice is a false choice. It is a false choice because there are always more than two options. Non-dualism is difficult to talk about because our language is completely structured around dualism: Good/Bad, Boy/Girl, Poly/Mono, Gay/Straight, Nature (that is to say: Biology)/Nuture (that is to say: Sociology). Our language is inadequate to our experience. Our stories are borrowed and passed onto us, written and lived out by those before us. Antiquated concepts that no longer serve us still confine our thinking and our conversations, and thus our reality: to what has already been.

What is there beyond "Either/Or"? How about Holism, which is easily represented by "Both/And" thinking. In 2003 Jean Robertson created a handout called "The New Context Conversation". I attended a workshop at the 2004 Network for a New Culture Summercamp by Geoff ____ ( not recalling his last name, famous documentor of Intentional Communities), & Lotus Allen where we discussed the profound differences between "Either/Or" and "Both/And" paradigms. I would be glad to share this document with anyone interested. I will bring copies to the Erotic Seattle Education Salon Allena is doing this Tuesday (16th) at the Capitol Club.

"Both/And" Identity
My conscious, intentional, self-defined ego identity lends itself to "Both/And" constructs. I am "both" Bi-sexual and Pan-sexual as there are more than two genders to engage with. I am "both" monogamous when I am starting a deep soul connecting relationship, (I used to say "primary partner" here but I am now actively seeking non-hierarchical words for the different levels of connectedness and intimacy I persistently seek) and polyamorous in my intense but spacious BDSM connections. I tend to want "both" a wide variety of sexual acts to engage in with many others "and" to keep the intimacy of penetrative acts to a chosen few people.

Recently I have been re-reading Rainer Maria Rilke's essays and fiction. I have also been digesting the work of Eckhardt Tolle. It occurs to me that all of our identities and ethical/moral judgments are based on ego-identification. Our ego's are extremely attached to naming and defining and creating a "false" sense of control. The ego is afraid of death and creates an orderly universe where things are judged as "Either Good Or Bad", "Either God Or Devil"; "Either Free Or Captive", ad finitum, ad nauseum. On and on our little squirrel brain egos natter, endlessly dividing "All That Is" into two narrow boxes that are "essentially" different and inherently seperate. So the main issue here is not actually what is better, best or more evolved as an identity. A concern I have recently become personally fascinated by is: why do I chose to identify primarily with my ego-based self, the "It" that constantly speaks in my head and acts as if "It" is all there is? It is the ego which creates a false sense of separation that has developed into "Either/ Or". Isn't it possible that we are "both" our ego identified little self "and" our inner Immanence or big S Self?

I have come to the realization that one of the reasons I am so motivated to have sex and engage in BDSM is that they shut off my "squirrel brain". During sexual acts and BDSM scenes I become so Present, so in the NOW moment that I leave my ego identification and enter my Essence identification (or hang out in various unspecified trance states in between). I love these moments so much that I have built my life around creating such events with other people and trying to teach them how to reach similar states. It took me quite a while to figure out that for some people leaving the ego identified self is terrifying rather than pleasurable. Oops, well, at least I figured that out. I am now in the process of trying to have Essence identified experiences "both" during sex "and" while engaging in other everyday activities. Not because sex is "good" or "bad" just because I love diversity, flexibility, fluidity and all those other "both/and" things a hedonistic sex positive woman wallows in. If you want to experiment with me or share your own experiences, contact me.


About me:
My name is Teri Ciacchi, I am 44 years old. My life work is to create a healing sex positive culture that is respectful and empowering to all people. I currently identify as a polyamorous bachelorette, ( Warning/Disclaimer: this identity changes daily with my mood and who I am with in the moment). I identify my ancestry as Italian-American although I am also German, French and Bohemian. I make my living as a Sexologist, Therapist and Sex Positive Educator. My business is "The TerraFire Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living". I started "Erotic Seattle Education" LLC with Allena Gabosch and Pan Vera in June 2006. I over use CAPITAL LETTERS and Title Case. If you want to know more about me because you do not already know me you can check out my website: