Reverently Sex Positive by Teri D. Ciacchi MSW

The following essay was written in direct response to an article by Jim Goad entitled "Positively Sex Negative" published in the Feb 07 issue of Seattle's Underground magazine. The underground is a magazine full of adds for erotic events and services whihc has advertising from Seattle Erotic Art Festival ( via the Wet Spot) local burlesque troups and other performance artists and erotic photographers etc. You can find a copy in a coffee shop near you in Seattle ( well for a little while longer at least). I was so offended by Mr. Goad's article that I called the magazine editor John Voge and after a few conversations wrote this response which will be published in the March 07 issue.

“Ridicule is generally made use of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking everything praiseworthy in human life.”

Joseph Addison

As the creatrix of the TerraFire Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living, , my life work is creating a sex positive culture that is respectful and empowering for all people. Obviously "all people", includes people in wheel chairs, people who are HIV positive, fat pagan women like myself, and unfortunately even Jim Goad. In his "Positively Sex Negative" essay, Goad solidly aims his ridicule at people whom he identifies with the term sex positive. As a person who has been intentionally building sex positive culture for more than twenty years, I assert that Goad is ignorantly attacking the very people who have made it possible for him to have a forum of free speech on sexuality that is openly available in public venues. In the 1980's, right here in the good old U.S. of A, it was not okay to have a magazine with explicit photographs of women wearing fetish gear in the lobby of a coffee shop, or the local Sex Positive Community Center. What's that? You've never heard of the S.P.C.C.? Oh that's right, you probably don't belong to the Wet Spot, (which now has over 9,000 members), because you are sex negative. Still it is in the lobby of this amazing non-profit organization that I found your hate-mongering article.

Lest I be accused of being from a "protected background" with a trust fund, (and where the hell are you from with your predictable misogynist, able-bodied, prejudicial ranting?), I will begin with data regarding my origin. I am from an Italian, German and French, working class, blue-collar family in the rural outskirts of Cleveland, Ohio. My father was a concrete foreman whose true love was drag racing. In her late thirties my mother worked at McDonald's to afford classes at the local community college. Just last month she retired from her decades long work in the procurement dept of the U.S. Navy. I am the only person in my immediate family to have college degrees and I got them through the blood sweat and tears of my family's work ethic. I created and continue to run my own business providing counseling and adult sex education classes. My expertise in the field of sexology comes from 10 years of providing sexual healing, adult education and counseling. And yes, as a matter of fact, my work does provide liberation for people. Freedom from not only the " rusty shackles" of Puritanism but also the poisonous cages of self-loathing and isolation that cause them to project their loathing onto others in the form of verbal, psychological, physical and sexual abuse.

Now, what does sex positive mean? Dr. Carol Queen offers this definition: "Sex-positive, a term that's coming into cultural awareness, isn't a dippy love-child celebration of orgone – it's a simple yet radical affirmation that we each grow our own passions on a different medium, that instead of having two or three or even half a dozen sexual orientations, we should be thinking in terms of millions. 'Sex-positive' respects each of our unique sexual profiles, even as we acknowledge that some of us have been damaged by a culture that tries to eradicate sexual difference and possibility."
Excerpt from "Real Live Nude Girl: Chronicles of Sex Positive Culture" © 1997 Cleis Press

Sociology is the study of human society, and the field of study where the history of social change movements can be found. Anyone wishing to learn about this can read these books: Feminist Theory from Margin to Center by bell hooks, Dismantling Privilege by M. E. Hobgood, Race Class and Gender, an Anthology By Andersen & Collins, the Sociologically Examined Life by Michael Schwalbe and many others available in public libraries.

Sex Positivity is one of the most recent developments in a legacy of human rights campaigns. The sex positive movement has its roots in the civil rights campaigns of the 50's and 60's. I owe my passion for sexual liberation to my study of Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Emma Goldman, and others who bravely followed their own conscience when the culture they lived in opposed it. As a sex positive activist I am aligned with the feminist and gay liberation movements I grew up in and the transgendered, intersexed and gender fluid civil rights movements of today.

"None are so hopelessly enslaved as those who falsely believe they are free.” Goethe

Incest, rape, sexual assault, abuse and harassment would not exist in sex positive culture. The term sex offender would be obsolete. Being raised in the mainstream culture of the U.S.A. provides social indoctrination that predisposes people to have experiences of sexual oppression, exploitation, and repression. Relationship role models are based on non-consensual domination and submission. Sex is a commodity that is bought and sold rather than an act of intimacy or pleasure freely exchanged. We use and are used by sex in order to find acceptance, approval, punishment and reward rather than moving into sex from self-respect or honoring acts of lust as a natural impulse.

Goad's writing is a perfect example of the immature, empathy impaired, average American male representation of sex. A dangerous combination of impoverished sexual self-esteem, limited and unsatisfying sexual experiences, inability to investigate authentic desire and a refusal to believe in the possibility of other perspectives. Like a boy with no skill in ejaculatory control he squirts his opinions at us without concern for where they land. As if the mere fact that he can come, and his rooster crowing assertions of virility give him any stature as a sexually desirable human being. Proclaiming who you want to fuck as worthy of having sexual existence and who you do not want to fuck as unworthy of sexual existence is neither sex positive or sex negative, Mr. Goad, it is simply narcissistic.