Last posting was in July after my Vipassana retreat. many many events since then. I was diagnosed with Endomitrial Cancer on Sept 9th and had a full hysterectomy on Sept 27th and was moved into a new house with roomates Beckie & Robyn on Oct 1st. SO many things so swiftly. Now it is the very end of November. Robyn has moved into a new house in West Seattle and Stuart is moving in with Beckie and I here in Greenlake. I have been immersed throughout my illness and recovery in the Landmark Education program called "Introduction to Leaders Program". This means that for 10-20 hours a week I study and intern to become a Landmark Home Introduction Leader. It is a new skill set for me that really calls for new behavior in many areas of my life.
I am struggling with medical bills as I had no insurance and still needed to get the operation that removed cancer from my body. I am grateful that they performed the operation without requiring money up front. I know I will find a way to pay for everything but honestly I am now strugggling to make sure that worry about money does not recreate the energetic place of being physically ill. I believe I am learning a great many things on a deep level of consciousness that I cannot articulate well. I know that I am learning these things because my behavior is changing and my reality is changing and I am keeping up with it. In Sept I was living in a studio apartment by myself on First Hill. Now I live in a luxurious house with a spa tub and a garden next to a big lake. The house is called The Center for Embodiment and it is definately a place where community occurs.
Stay tuned for more info soon.
Blessings,
Teri
Monday, November 26, 2007
Monday, July 09, 2007
Is it July already? Vipassana's Sacredly Activated
Summer, Blessed Summer is here! I am a Leo baby ( August 1st ) and always feel my best in the summer!
I have some lovely experiences to offer you this week and sincerely hope you’ll join me: Holistic Peer Counseling Thursday,
I am freshly mentally flossed from my 12 day Vipassana meditation retreat. Vipassana is a very pure, simple form of meditation which is believed to have come directly from the work of Gatama the Buddha.
My dear friend Jude went with me and we spent 10 days doing a rigorous routine that went like this: awake 4am * meditate 4:30-6:30am * breakfast 6:30 free time until meditating again 8-9am * meditate again 9am-11am * Lunch 11am-1pm * meditate 1-5pm * tea & fruit at 5pm * meditate 6-7pm * discourse video with S.N. Goenka 7-8:15pm * meditate 8:15pm-9pm * questions with teachers * lights out at 10pm Sleep. This was my schedule for 10 days. Oh yes and did I mention you cannot talk except: 1)to ask the manager for something when you have an emergency need such as a flashlight or 2) to have a private or public question with the teachers. For the first three days you are simply focusing on the natural flow of your breath in the small triangular space between your upper lip and around your nostrils. This is called anapanna. On the 4th day you actually learn Vipassana which is focusing on physical sensations and becoming neutral about whatever cravings or aversions arise in your consciousness. On the 7th day there begins a focus called “fierce determination” where for an hour on three separate occasions you attempt to not move your arms and legs or open your eyes.
I learned a
I also enjoyed my amusing, bizarre and creative mind. There is quite the juke box in my head. I wrote a comic book, made up new Podcasts, redesigned my website, and came up with lots of new workshops. Such is the nature of desire in a human form. And hey, I survived and I feel really strong, maybe even a bit invincible, (anybody else hear a Helen Reddy song in there, geesh!).
I also had a wonderful time visiting my family in
I’m glad to be back to my
Friday, March 09, 2007
I forget I'm Holy and remember the Kinky Carnival
I immediately said that my life is being used for Human Liberation and Sexual Healing.
My life is being used for Human Liberation and Sexual Healing. I have gratitude and appreciation for my ability to do this work and for being given the opportunity and skills to provide space for other people to heal. I held an Aphrodite Temple for 24 people over the weekend. Creating and maintaining Sacred Sexual space for people in a group of that size is challenging. It was a first time experience for all but 4 of the people who participated. A lot of energy was raised and continues to resonate in our lives from that co-created experience. I am grateful for the gift of being able to channel Divine energy at this level.
I have safe and stable housing. I have an abundance of money which comes to me from doing my true life’s work which is the transformational work of sexual healing and the liberation that comes from this healing.
I have an amazing strong and unending connection with my family of origin. I know they are there for me and love me fiercely.
I am deeply loved and held as a healer and spiritual teacher by an unknown ( but definitely large) number of people. I have been able to be a loving influence in their lives.
I am given an ongoing supply of ideas and deep intuitive knowing that provide the inspiration for my classes and workshops.
I can invent and then co-create amazing community events like the Kinky Carnival and know that literally hundreds of people will enthusiastically volunteer to manifest it and hundreds of people will attend and have meaningful and potentially transformative experiences.
This list is the tip of the iceberg and now I feel very present to my value and worth in the world.
Today I am working on the Kinky Carnival, getting it up off the ground. I am excited!
If you want to get involved in the Kinky Carnival as either a volunteer or an attendee please contact me.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Reverently Sex Positive by Teri D. Ciacchi MSW
The following essay was written in direct response to an article by Jim Goad entitled "Positively Sex Negative" published in the Feb 07 issue of Seattle's Underground magazine. The underground is a magazine full of adds for erotic events and services whihc has advertising from Seattle Erotic Art Festival ( via the Wet Spot) local burlesque troups and other performance artists and erotic photographers etc. You can find a copy in a coffee shop near you in Seattle ( well for a little while longer at least). I was so offended by Mr. Goad's article that I called the magazine editor John Voge and after a few conversations wrote this response which will be published in the March 07 issue.
Joseph Addison
As the creatrix of the TerraFire Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living,
Lest I be accused of being from a "protected background" with a trust fund, (and where the hell are you from with your predictable misogynist, able-bodied, prejudicial ranting?), I will begin with data regarding my origin. I am from an Italian, German and French, working class, blue-collar family in the rural outskirts of Cleveland, Ohio. My father was a concrete foreman whose true love was drag racing. In her late thirties my mother worked at McDonald's to afford classes at the local community college. Just last month she retired from her decades long work in the procurement dept of the U.S. Navy. I am the only person in my immediate family to have college degrees and I got them through the blood sweat and tears of my family's work ethic. I created and continue to run my own business providing counseling and adult sex education classes. My expertise in the field of sexology comes from 10 years of providing sexual healing, adult education and counseling. And yes, as a matter of fact, my work does provide liberation for people. Freedom from not only the " rusty shackles" of Puritanism but also the poisonous cages of self-loathing and isolation that cause them to project their loathing onto others in the form of verbal, psychological, physical and sexual abuse.
Now, what does sex positive mean? Dr. Carol Queen offers this definition: "Sex-positive, a term that's coming into cultural awareness, isn't a dippy love-child celebration of orgone – it's a simple yet radical affirmation that we each grow our own passions on a different medium, that instead of having two or three or even half a dozen sexual orientations, we should be thinking in terms of millions. 'Sex-positive' respects each of our unique sexual profiles, even as we acknowledge that some of us have been damaged by a culture that tries to eradicate sexual difference and possibility."
Excerpt from "Real Live Nude Girl: Chronicles of Sex Positive Culture" © 1997 Cleis Press
Sociology is the study of human society, and the field of study where the history of social change movements can be found. Anyone wishing to learn about this can read these books: Feminist Theory from Margin to Center by bell hooks, Dismantling Privilege by M. E. Hobgood, Race Class and Gender, an Anthology By Andersen & Collins, the Sociologically Examined Life by Michael Schwalbe and many others available in public libraries.
Sex Positivity is one of the most recent developments in a legacy of human rights campaigns. The sex positive movement has its roots in the civil rights campaigns of the 50's and 60's. I owe my passion for sexual liberation to my study of Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Emma Goldman, and others who bravely followed their own conscience when the culture they lived in opposed it. As a sex positive activist I am aligned with the feminist and gay liberation movements I grew up in and the transgendered, intersexed and gender fluid civil rights movements of today.
"None are so hopelessly enslaved as those who falsely believe they are free.” Goethe
Incest, rape, sexual assault, abuse and harassment would not exist in sex positive culture. The term sex offender would be obsolete. Being raised in the mainstream culture of the U.S.A. provides social indoctrination that predisposes people to have experiences of sexual oppression, exploitation, and repression. Relationship role models are based on non-consensual domination and submission. Sex is a commodity that is bought and sold rather than an act of intimacy or pleasure freely exchanged. We use and are used by sex in order to find acceptance, approval, punishment and reward rather than moving into sex from self-respect or honoring acts of lust as a natural impulse.
Goad's writing is a perfect example of the immature, empathy impaired, average American male representation of sex. A dangerous combination of impoverished sexual self-esteem, limited and unsatisfying sexual experiences, inability to investigate authentic desire and a refusal to believe in the possibility of other perspectives. Like a boy with no skill in ejaculatory control he squirts his opinions at us without concern for where they land. As if the mere fact that he can come, and his rooster crowing assertions of virility give him any stature as a sexually desirable human being. Proclaiming who you want to fuck as worthy of having sexual existence and who you do not want to fuck as unworthy of sexual existence is neither sex positive or sex negative, Mr. Goad, it is simply narcissistic.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Greetings Divine Beings:
Imbolc, or Groundhog's Day with a full moon in Leo was last Friday Feb
2nd. Imbolc is a lunar Wiccan High Holy Day. It is a time of
"Quickening" when the flame of the spirit reenters the Earth element.
Wow what a great day to get recharged. I had a great evening staying
home and getting organized. I also had an opportunity to listen to a
CD
of Andrew Harvey's talk fro the 6th annual conference on Shamanism and
sacred sexuality. Several of my friends attended and I am inspired to
go next year. I also had seen a DVD of his keynote speech. Thanks to
Dawn F. for giving me access to these as well as 2 CD's of Margot
Anand.
Andrew Harvey is a Gay Mystic, Tantric Scholar and radical
environmentalactivist who holistically ties many threads of body and spiritual
practices together. He is a true visionary who explains in his work
that the purpose of practicing Tantra is to attain states of bliss
thatawaken our beings/consciousness to our immanent divinity. He calls us
to do this work so we can awaken and tend to the environmental crisis of
the planet at this time. The Earth as the Divine Feminine, the Mother
Goddess is suffering due to the lack of balance between the masculine
and feminine. This theme continues to be repeated in my presence over
the last 2 months. I feel called to give myself to the cause of sexual
healing even more urgently. I am going to be more fully expressed in
offering my work and these messages to the world this year. I feel
both inspired and supported.
Today I spent the afternoon in a support group for Urban Priestesses.
Women who do energy and light work, women who do sex work, women who
do whole body healing, and women who are allies of these works. I had the
delightful experience of hearing from these women that they were aware
of my work and had been hoping to meet me. One woman even expressed
that she had first been exposed to open sexual exploration at the
Kinky Carnival. She attributed her current work to attending that event. I
was so moved.
I am more and more present to the impact I actually do have.
I feel strong and proud and blessed and seen. I want to let all of you
know how much I appreciate your interest and support of my work. If
there is anything I can do to further encourage your sexual healing
and sensuous liberation, please let me know.
In love and gratitude, Teri Ciacchi aka TerraFire.
February Offerings from TerraFire Academy
Temple of the Open Heart: Education for Ecstatic Being
Friday February 16th 7:00-10:00 pm $20
& Saturday February17th 1:00-5:00 pm $40 ( both for $50)
Friday March 2nd 7:00-10:00 pm $20 Fri evening only
At Temple of the Senses 6529 Latona Ave.
Teri Ciacchi and Ki Rohn lead you into the Now Moment with activities
that bring your awareness and focus back into your
body. We will be dancing, eye gazing, heart connecting, and learning
other simple powerful practices that will increase your intimacy
building skills, celebrate the ecstatic nature of your body and
acknowledge
the divine source within us all.
Please feel free to call or email to register or ask questions.
Ki Rohn is a Tantric masseuse who practices in Vancouver B.C.
www.massagebyki.com Teri D. Ciacchi MSW is a counselor and sex
educator in Seattle
"Get What you Want!": Flirting skills for Everyone
Sunday February 18th 5:30 to 7:30pm $20
Wild at Heart 1111 NW Leary Way in Ballard
Flirt for fun! Flirt for Friendship! Flirt for Sex! Flirt for
partnership!
Flirting has many intentions and all of them are valid and uplifting!
Do the people you flirt with enjoy you? Learn the body language
signals that are universal indications of interest. Become
conscious of what your own body language is saying, and also how
other people read it. Practice flirting in a fun and safe place. Trust
Teri to show you how being sexy can be fun!
My Funny Valentine with Allena Gabosch & Teri Ciacchi
Tuesday February 20th Erotic Seattle Education Salon
Dinner 6:00 pm discussion 7:00-9:00 pm FREE
Capitol Club 414 E Pine St (Cross St: Bellevue Avenue)
Let's create a light-hearted discussion of sexuality at it's most
hilarious.
Share your own humorous sex stories or tattle on others. Lost condoms,
"misplaced clitori", bad lube choices, getting caught "red-handed and
red-faced" in the act; you know you've been there. Join us for an
evening of sex positive laughter and hilarity.
Rage Release Workshop with Teri Ciacchi
Friday Feb 23rd 7:00 pm-10:00 pm $20
Home Alive studio 1415 10th Ave 2nd floor Suite #3
Teri Ciacchi leads this workshop specifically designed to allow for a
deep catharsis of anger. Participants will work in groups of three
with
boxing gloves, safety pads and punching bags to release pent up
frustrations and rage. Safety precautions and instructions on how to
have healthy release will be covered. This workshop is perfect for
people who know they are angry and easily triggered. Most of us
have never had a safe place to let go without fear of retaliation,
judgment or blame. Here is your opportunity to begin a journey towards
wholeness and self-acceptance around anger. Don't wait until you
accidentally explode and cause yourself to lose a job or relationship.
As with all other TerraFire Academy classes this workshop is open
to all genders. Because of the psychological impact and healing nature
of this workshop pre-registration is required. People who have not
previously worked in a counseling or teaching relationship with Teri
will need to have a phone consultation with her prior to the class.
The TerraFire Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living:
Sex Positive Revolution: One Orgasm at a Time
(206) 612-3511 blog:
Imbolc, or Groundhog's Day with a full moon in Leo was last Friday Feb
2nd. Imbolc is a lunar Wiccan High Holy Day. It is a time of
"Quickening" when the flame of the spirit reenters the Earth element.
Wow what a great day to get recharged. I had a great evening staying
home and getting organized. I also had an opportunity to listen to a
CD
of Andrew Harvey's talk fro the 6th annual conference on Shamanism and
sacred sexuality. Several of my friends attended and I am inspired to
go next year. I also had seen a DVD of his keynote speech. Thanks to
Dawn F. for giving me access to these as well as 2 CD's of Margot
Anand.
Andrew Harvey is a Gay Mystic, Tantric Scholar and radical
environmentalactivist who holistically ties many threads of body and spiritual
practices together. He is a true visionary who explains in his work
that the purpose of practicing Tantra is to attain states of bliss
thatawaken our beings/consciousness to our immanent divinity. He calls us
to do this work so we can awaken and tend to the environmental crisis of
the planet at this time. The Earth as the Divine Feminine, the Mother
Goddess is suffering due to the lack of balance between the masculine
and feminine. This theme continues to be repeated in my presence over
the last 2 months. I feel called to give myself to the cause of sexual
healing even more urgently. I am going to be more fully expressed in
offering my work and these messages to the world this year. I feel
both inspired and supported.
Today I spent the afternoon in a support group for Urban Priestesses.
Women who do energy and light work, women who do sex work, women who
do whole body healing, and women who are allies of these works. I had the
delightful experience of hearing from these women that they were aware
of my work and had been hoping to meet me. One woman even expressed
that she had first been exposed to open sexual exploration at the
Kinky Carnival. She attributed her current work to attending that event. I
was so moved.
I am more and more present to the impact I actually do have.
I feel strong and proud and blessed and seen. I want to let all of you
know how much I appreciate your interest and support of my work. If
there is anything I can do to further encourage your sexual healing
and sensuous liberation, please let me know.
In love and gratitude, Teri Ciacchi aka TerraFire.
February Offerings from TerraFire Academy
Temple of the Open Heart: Education for Ecstatic Being
Friday February 16th 7:00-10:00 pm $20
& Saturday February17th 1:00-5:00 pm $40 ( both for $50)
Friday March 2nd 7:00-10:00 pm $20 Fri evening only
At Temple of the Senses 6529 Latona Ave.
Teri Ciacchi and Ki Rohn lead you into the Now Moment with activities
that bring your awareness and focus back into your
body. We will be dancing, eye gazing, heart connecting, and learning
other simple powerful practices that will increase your intimacy
building skills, celebrate the ecstatic nature of your body and
acknowledge
the divine source within us all.
Please feel free to call or email to register or ask questions.
Ki Rohn is a Tantric masseuse who practices in Vancouver B.C.
www.massagebyki.com Teri D. Ciacchi MSW is a counselor and sex
educator in Seattle
"Get What you Want!": Flirting skills for Everyone
Sunday February 18th 5:30 to 7:30pm $20
Wild at Heart 1111 NW Leary Way in Ballard
Flirt for fun! Flirt for Friendship! Flirt for Sex! Flirt for
partnership!
Flirting has many intentions and all of them are valid and uplifting!
Do the people you flirt with enjoy you? Learn the body language
signals that are universal indications of interest. Become
conscious of what your own body language is saying, and also how
other people read it. Practice flirting in a fun and safe place. Trust
Teri to show you how being sexy can be fun!
My Funny Valentine with Allena Gabosch & Teri Ciacchi
Tuesday February 20th Erotic Seattle Education Salon
Dinner 6:00 pm discussion 7:00-9:00 pm FREE
Capitol Club 414 E Pine St (Cross St: Bellevue Avenue)
Let's create a light-hearted discussion of sexuality at it's most
hilarious.
Share your own humorous sex stories or tattle on others. Lost condoms,
"misplaced clitori", bad lube choices, getting caught "red-handed and
red-faced" in the act; you know you've been there. Join us for an
evening of sex positive laughter and hilarity.
Rage Release Workshop with Teri Ciacchi
Friday Feb 23rd 7:00 pm-10:00 pm $20
Home Alive studio 1415 10th Ave 2nd floor Suite #3
Teri Ciacchi leads this workshop specifically designed to allow for a
deep catharsis of anger. Participants will work in groups of three
with
boxing gloves, safety pads and punching bags to release pent up
frustrations and rage. Safety precautions and instructions on how to
have healthy release will be covered. This workshop is perfect for
people who know they are angry and easily triggered. Most of us
have never had a safe place to let go without fear of retaliation,
judgment or blame. Here is your opportunity to begin a journey towards
wholeness and self-acceptance around anger. Don't wait until you
accidentally explode and cause yourself to lose a job or relationship.
As with all other TerraFire Academy classes this workshop is open
to all genders. Because of the psychological impact and healing nature
of this workshop pre-registration is required. People who have not
previously worked in a counseling or teaching relationship with Teri
will need to have a phone consultation with her prior to the class.
The TerraFire Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living:
Sex Positive Revolution: One Orgasm at a Time
(206) 612-3511 blog:
Monday, January 15, 2007
A Common definition of love
Here is my response to the seattle polyamory group postings defining love from 1/ 13/07
Yikes, the idea of love being "putting someone else's needs before your own", gives me the creeps. I think that is called fusion, (a polite term for codependence).
Here are the definitions of love that I teach in my classes and counseling practice:
"To truly love, we must learn to mix various ingredients- care, affection, recognition, respect, commitment, and trust, as well as honest and open communication."
bell hooks All About Love
"Love is the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth."
"Love is as love does. Love is an act of will-namely both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice.
We do not have to love. We choose to love."
From The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck
It is my belief that unless we are clear in our language about the definition and meaning of words, we are not truly communicating.I strive to share or co-create a definition of love with people I want to be in intimate relationships with. I have learned with both pain and ease, that the term "polyamory" does not mean the same thing behaviorally to others as it does to me. I have actually begun to question whether the term is useful. I wonder, in fact, what words are useful without being defined???? I know that I definately have loving relationships at various levels of intimacy with more than one persons of more than two genders in more than 5 varieties of sexual acts and more than seven prefered role playing scenarios with over 10 toys and tools involved. Is that polyamory?
I'm not sure. I do know however, for myself, that it is not love if it does not involve stewardship of my own and another's personal growth. "Love is as love does" and requires behavior that goes above and beyond my ego-identified "wanting". The great thing about defining love is that it can then be enacted clearly and specifically. You can see if your behavior and the behavior of others is in line with the definition. If it falls short you can set out to learn the skills that are lacking. So love can become a skill that is developed. Most of the time our culture acts as if love is a mysterious cloud of FATE that we accidently fall into and become enchanted by. OOPs, what was that I stepped in?
With a little attention and intention we can commit to being love/loving. Using the hooks definiton we can go through each word and see where we have skill and where skill needs to be developed.
Let's take a minute and look at "open and honest communication" one of the 7 ingredients bell hooks requires in her definition of love.
It might be for example that a person does not have the skill of self-awareness that allows them to be in open and honest,(meaning, loving) communication with another. They might have had experiences that lead them to chose to withold information or deliberately "spin" information in the hopes of avoiding rejection or winning approval.A person at this level of development needs to become self-loving and self-accepting before they can be in honest and open communication with another person. They will also need an emotional spaciousness, a place of safety and respect where they can look at and be with their own internal process. They will need an environment where they truly are not being judged in order for them to have the experience of being accepted. If I am not certain who I am or how I feel, if I am not communicating openly and honestly with myself, how can I communicate in such a manner with you? I cannot. If you are "demanding" that I communicate honestly with you there is already judgment present that may inhibit my ability to speak the truth. If love is to be present, there must be room for every one to: 1) look inside and examine their experiences and 2)have a safe environment that allows authentic self- expression without punishment or reward. That's all for now!
Blessings,
Teri D. Ciacchi MSW
podcast: blog:
Creatrix of TerraFire Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living
Creating Sex-Positive Revolution, One Orgasm at a time.
Yikes, the idea of love being "putting someone else's needs before your own", gives me the creeps. I think that is called fusion, (a polite term for codependence).
Here are the definitions of love that I teach in my classes and counseling practice:
"To truly love, we must learn to mix various ingredients- care, affection, recognition, respect, commitment, and trust, as well as honest and open communication."
bell hooks All About Love
"Love is the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth."
"Love is as love does. Love is an act of will-namely both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice.
We do not have to love. We choose to love."
From The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck
It is my belief that unless we are clear in our language about the definition and meaning of words, we are not truly communicating.I strive to share or co-create a definition of love with people I want to be in intimate relationships with. I have learned with both pain and ease, that the term "polyamory" does not mean the same thing behaviorally to others as it does to me. I have actually begun to question whether the term is useful. I wonder, in fact, what words are useful without being defined???? I know that I definately have loving relationships at various levels of intimacy with more than one persons of more than two genders in more than 5 varieties of sexual acts and more than seven prefered role playing scenarios with over 10 toys and tools involved. Is that polyamory?
I'm not sure. I do know however, for myself, that it is not love if it does not involve stewardship of my own and another's personal growth. "Love is as love does" and requires behavior that goes above and beyond my ego-identified "wanting". The great thing about defining love is that it can then be enacted clearly and specifically. You can see if your behavior and the behavior of others is in line with the definition. If it falls short you can set out to learn the skills that are lacking. So love can become a skill that is developed. Most of the time our culture acts as if love is a mysterious cloud of FATE that we accidently fall into and become enchanted by. OOPs, what was that I stepped in?
With a little attention and intention we can commit to being love/loving. Using the hooks definiton we can go through each word and see where we have skill and where skill needs to be developed.
Let's take a minute and look at "open and honest communication" one of the 7 ingredients bell hooks requires in her definition of love.
It might be for example that a person does not have the skill of self-awareness that allows them to be in open and honest,(meaning, loving) communication with another. They might have had experiences that lead them to chose to withold information or deliberately "spin" information in the hopes of avoiding rejection or winning approval.A person at this level of development needs to become self-loving and self-accepting before they can be in honest and open communication with another person. They will also need an emotional spaciousness, a place of safety and respect where they can look at and be with their own internal process. They will need an environment where they truly are not being judged in order for them to have the experience of being accepted. If I am not certain who I am or how I feel, if I am not communicating openly and honestly with myself, how can I communicate in such a manner with you? I cannot. If you are "demanding" that I communicate honestly with you there is already judgment present that may inhibit my ability to speak the truth. If love is to be present, there must be room for every one to: 1) look inside and examine their experiences and 2)have a safe environment that allows authentic self- expression without punishment or reward. That's all for now!
Blessings,
Teri D. Ciacchi MSW
podcast:
Creatrix of TerraFire Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living
Creating Sex-Positive Revolution, One Orgasm at a time.
Immense gratitude for Podcast & $1,000 in 24 hours
Jan 15th Blog entry
Sex Positive Revolutionaries, Visionaries, and Sexplorers
1st Podcast available on the web
I am so excited, Allena, David W. and I just completed our 1st podcast yesterday. It is our intention to do a new installment every 3 weeks. So here it is, Please check it out and give me your feedback. Please forward it to all your friends. It was so much fun to make, I hope you will find it fun to listen to.
http://web.mac.com/tazie
is the web address for "It's a Weenie White Boy World" podcast Episode #1
you'll have to cut and paste because apparently this blog does not support adding links.
Causing Miracles
I decided to be outrageous and "completely unreasonable" after attending my Landmark Living Passionately seminar last Thursday night. I had heard about an amazing internet service opportunity which would allow me to have everything I need to run my TerraFire Academy business website, blog, email etc, including the bandwidth required to support our new podcasing. If I paid $1000.00 by Monday January 15th, I could receive the services I needed (actually quite a bit more than I can currently utilize but will gladly grow into) for life. That's right for the rest of my life, or the life of the company whichever comes first. My beloved friend David Besonen helped me find this opportunity and facilitated the entire process. So I needed to find $1,000.00 by Midnight Sunday Jan 14th (tonight). I decided on Friday morning to call David B. and get all the info I needed to attempt to cause this miracle. I wrote a script detailing all the reasons why supporting this effort financially would be a good idea. At 5pm on Friday Jan 12th I started making phone calls. On Saturday Jan 13th at 3:30pm I had reached my goal. Tomorrow morning I will sign up for these services.
"Thank You!"s
Sex Positive Revolutionaries, Visionaries, and Sexplorers
1st Podcast available on the web
I am so excited, Allena, David W. and I just completed our 1st podcast yesterday. It is our intention to do a new installment every 3 weeks. So here it is, Please check it out and give me your feedback. Please forward it to all your friends. It was so much fun to make, I hope you will find it fun to listen to.
http://web.mac.com/tazie
is the web address for "It's a Weenie White Boy World" podcast Episode #1
you'll have to cut and paste because apparently this blog does not support adding links.
Causing Miracles
I decided to be outrageous and "completely unreasonable" after attending my Landmark Living Passionately seminar last Thursday night. I had heard about an amazing internet service opportunity which would allow me to have everything I need to run my TerraFire Academy business website, blog, email etc, including the bandwidth required to support our new podcasing. If I paid $1000.00 by Monday January 15th, I could receive the services I needed (actually quite a bit more than I can currently utilize but will gladly grow into) for life. That's right for the rest of my life, or the life of the company whichever comes first. My beloved friend David Besonen helped me find this opportunity and facilitated the entire process. So I needed to find $1,000.00 by Midnight Sunday Jan 14th (tonight). I decided on Friday morning to call David B. and get all the info I needed to attempt to cause this miracle. I wrote a script detailing all the reasons why supporting this effort financially would be a good idea. At 5pm on Friday Jan 12th I started making phone calls. On Saturday Jan 13th at 3:30pm I had reached my goal. Tomorrow morning I will sign up for these services.
"Thank You!"s
Here are the people who made this miracle occur through their emotional and financial support: (Initials are used when last names will cause potential "outing" problems.)
David Besonen whose computer consultation resume is at: http://digitalrelief.com
Allena Gabosch, David W., Heather R., Gordon N. Rev., Rainbow Love, Eric J., Robyn Lynn, Connie Perez, Mistress Marry, Lisa, Vickie & Carrie Lynn at Wild at Heart, Kristin R., Susan H., O'Rion Barker, Jim B. who provides my cel phone, Gabriel A., Ki Rohn
Thanks to the following members of my Landmark family who sourced my attendance at the Living Passionately seminar, which sourced the energy to perform this miracle: Paul G., Rachel E., Justina, Allena & Heather
I also want to thank all of my counseling clients and people who attend my classes and workshops. You make my life work. Thanks for your support of my work! If anyone else would like to provide financial support for the continued expansion of my business please keep reading.
Yes, I want to deepen my support of sex positive culture
Yes, I want to continue and deepen my support of sex positive culture by supporting the work of Teri Ciacchi the TerraFire Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living.
This is an invitation for you to more deeply contribute to building sex positive culture through empowering my life work. My life work is "creating a healing sex positive culture that is respectful and empowering for all people". Being a contribution to meeting my goal is an opportunity to feel fulfilled, acknowledged and valued. This is an opportunity to be known as an advocate for sex positive culture and to connect to others doing this work. I will promote your gifts to me by acknowledging you in my newsletters on my website, in my podcasts or in any other manner you request.
My goal for TerraFire Academy this year is to go grow from my current ability to reach 877 people (current number of people receiving my email newsletters) to 8,000 through website, newsletters and podcasts. I have started creating the "weenie white boy world" podcast with
Allena Gabosch & David W.
I have a new laptop (thank you Alicia Powers!!) but need a Windows XP operating system. Does anyone have one?
I am currently looking for a website graphic designer. Any suggestions of people who provide these services or offers to help provide the service your self would be gladly accepted. I need to raise the funds to pay for this service.
I want to send out twice monthly email newsletters with graphics and pleasing easy to read text fonts. This will require me to either, pay for more education and learn to do this myself. Pay an internet email newsletter company to do this, pay some other geek who knows how to do this to do it.
I also would love any or all of the following items, I mean hey, why not ask? A blender, a toaster oven, a crock pot, a scanner, an i-pod, a blow dryer
So here is what I am up to. Anyone who wants to deepen their support of my work is welcome to do any of the following:
1) Gift me with any amount of money they wish (from $5.00 to $1,000.00)
2) Consider giving me a specific amount of money which will be used as payment in advance for my services*, you will then get coupons for the specific amount given. These coupons will be honored across any amount of time until you have received services equivalent to the amount paid. Coupons will be valued at the rates I am charging when the coupons are redeemed. Please see below * for a reminder of the vast array of services I provide.
*My services include all of my classes and workshops, individual or couple or "adult family of choice" counseling sessions, and mediation. Coaching and emotional support for any life situation and ongoing goal setting and achievement. Teaching of communication skills, dating and other relationship skills. Consultation on how to do fundraisers, and any other business info relevant to how I have built my business up from $12,000.00 top $31,000 in one year are also included. My esoteric services include Natal Astrology charts and interpretations, Tarot readings, ritual consultation and enactment.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Polyamory, Non-Dualism & the Ego-identified self
WhatI posted to Seattle Polyamory Yahoo Group list Jan. 11,2007
Polyamory, Non-Dualism & the Ego-identified self
Identity, Morality, Personal Freedom, Projections, and Judgments, all of these themes are running through the correspondence on sea-poly for the last few weeks. I frequently read the postings but rarely write. I just returned home from a Landmark Living Passionately seminar and found myself making a commitment to be more fully alive. One way that I interpret being more alive is that I will actualize my potential to connect and communicate with others in dialogue (albeit written conversation rather than 3-D) rather than just reading and engaging in my own monologue.
An underlying theme in many of the posts is Dualism. The dominant world religions are dualistic. The religious doctrines of dualist religions have created the dualistic paradigms that we have been socialized in. Most of us do not recognize that dualism is culturally imposed human structure. I have a BA in Human Ecology from a private women's school in Columbia Missouri ( 1983, hey, I did say I am 44!). I became an Eco-feminist there. I learned academic language there. I used to call dualism a "false dichotomy". I think I got this from reading Shalimuth Firestone or Marge Piercy or Simone De Beauvior or some other "smart chick". When I use the language I learned at school it tends to alienate me from others so I have been looking for simpler words.
Late in 2006 I went to see Kate Borenstein, the famous queer author, activist and gender warrior. She taught me to say "Either/Or" Thinking. Let's simplify all of this and look at the idea that whenever a person or social structure asks you to chose between two things, to make an "Either/Or" choice that such a choice is a false choice. It is a false choice because there are always more than two options. Non-dualism is difficult to talk about because our language is completely structured around dualism: Good/Bad, Boy/Girl, Poly/Mono, Gay/Straight, Nature (that is to say: Biology)/Nuture (that is to say: Sociology). Our language is inadequate to our experience. Our stories are borrowed and passed onto us, written and lived out by those before us. Antiquated concepts that no longer serve us still confine our thinking and our conversations, and thus our reality: to what has already been.
What is there beyond "Either/Or"? How about Holism, which is easily represented by "Both/And" thinking. In 2003 Jean Robertson created a handout called "The New Context Conversation". I attended a workshop at the 2004 Network for a New Culture Summercamp by Geoff ____ ( not recalling his last name, famous documentor of Intentional Communities), & Lotus Allen where we discussed the profound differences between "Either/Or" and "Both/And" paradigms. I would be glad to share this document with anyone interested. I will bring copies to the Erotic Seattle Education Salon Allena is doing this Tuesday (16th) at the Capitol Club.
"Both/And" Identity
My conscious, intentional, self-defined ego identity lends itself to "Both/And" constructs. I am "both" Bi-sexual and Pan-sexual as there are more than two genders to engage with. I am "both" monogamous when I am starting a deep soul connecting relationship, (I used to say "primary partner" here but I am now actively seeking non-hierarchical words for the different levels of connectedness and intimacy I persistently seek) and polyamorous in my intense but spacious BDSM connections. I tend to want "both" a wide variety of sexual acts to engage in with many others "and" to keep the intimacy of penetrative acts to a chosen few people.
Recently I have been re-reading Rainer Maria Rilke's essays and fiction. I have also been digesting the work of Eckhardt Tolle. It occurs to me that all of our identities and ethical/moral judgments are based on ego-identification. Our ego's are extremely attached to naming and defining and creating a "false" sense of control. The ego is afraid of death and creates an orderly universe where things are judged as "Either Good Or Bad", "Either God Or Devil"; "Either Free Or Captive", ad finitum, ad nauseum. On and on our little squirrel brain egos natter, endlessly dividing "All That Is" into two narrow boxes that are "essentially" different and inherently seperate. So the main issue here is not actually what is better, best or more evolved as an identity. A concern I have recently become personally fascinated by is: why do I chose to identify primarily with my ego-based self, the "It" that constantly speaks in my head and acts as if "It" is all there is? It is the ego which creates a false sense of separation that has developed into "Either/ Or". Isn't it possible that we are "both" our ego identified little self "and" our inner Immanence or big S Self?
I have come to the realization that one of the reasons I am so motivated to have sex and engage in BDSM is that they shut off my "squirrel brain". During sexual acts and BDSM scenes I become so Present, so in the NOW moment that I leave my ego identification and enter my Essence identification (or hang out in various unspecified trance states in between). I love these moments so much that I have built my life around creating such events with other people and trying to teach them how to reach similar states. It took me quite a while to figure out that for some people leaving the ego identified self is terrifying rather than pleasurable. Oops, well, at least I figured that out. I am now in the process of trying to have Essence identified experiences "both" during sex "and" while engaging in other everyday activities. Not because sex is "good" or "bad" just because I love diversity, flexibility, fluidity and all those other "both/and" things a hedonistic sex positive woman wallows in. If you want to experiment with me or share your own experiences, contact me.
About me:
My name is Teri Ciacchi, I am 44 years old. My life work is to create a healing sex positive culture that is respectful and empowering to all people. I currently identify as a polyamorous bachelorette, ( Warning/Disclaimer: this identity changes daily with my mood and who I am with in the moment). I identify my ancestry as Italian-American although I am also German, French and Bohemian. I make my living as a Sexologist, Therapist and Sex Positive Educator. My business is "The TerraFire Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living". I started "Erotic Seattle Education" LLC with Allena Gabosch and Pan Vera in June 2006. I over use CAPITAL LETTERS and Title Case. If you want to know more about me because you do not already know me you can check out my website:
Polyamory, Non-Dualism & the Ego-identified self
Identity, Morality, Personal Freedom, Projections, and Judgments, all of these themes are running through the correspondence on sea-poly for the last few weeks. I frequently read the postings but rarely write. I just returned home from a Landmark Living Passionately seminar and found myself making a commitment to be more fully alive. One way that I interpret being more alive is that I will actualize my potential to connect and communicate with others in dialogue (albeit written conversation rather than 3-D) rather than just reading and engaging in my own monologue.
An underlying theme in many of the posts is Dualism. The dominant world religions are dualistic. The religious doctrines of dualist religions have created the dualistic paradigms that we have been socialized in. Most of us do not recognize that dualism is culturally imposed human structure. I have a BA in Human Ecology from a private women's school in Columbia Missouri ( 1983, hey, I did say I am 44!). I became an Eco-feminist there. I learned academic language there. I used to call dualism a "false dichotomy". I think I got this from reading Shalimuth Firestone or Marge Piercy or Simone De Beauvior or some other "smart chick". When I use the language I learned at school it tends to alienate me from others so I have been looking for simpler words.
Late in 2006 I went to see Kate Borenstein, the famous queer author, activist and gender warrior. She taught me to say "Either/Or" Thinking. Let's simplify all of this and look at the idea that whenever a person or social structure asks you to chose between two things, to make an "Either/Or" choice that such a choice is a false choice. It is a false choice because there are always more than two options. Non-dualism is difficult to talk about because our language is completely structured around dualism: Good/Bad, Boy/Girl, Poly/Mono, Gay/Straight, Nature (that is to say: Biology)/Nuture (that is to say: Sociology). Our language is inadequate to our experience. Our stories are borrowed and passed onto us, written and lived out by those before us. Antiquated concepts that no longer serve us still confine our thinking and our conversations, and thus our reality: to what has already been.
What is there beyond "Either/Or"? How about Holism, which is easily represented by "Both/And" thinking. In 2003 Jean Robertson created a handout called "The New Context Conversation". I attended a workshop at the 2004 Network for a New Culture Summercamp by Geoff ____ ( not recalling his last name, famous documentor of Intentional Communities), & Lotus Allen where we discussed the profound differences between "Either/Or" and "Both/And" paradigms. I would be glad to share this document with anyone interested. I will bring copies to the Erotic Seattle Education Salon Allena is doing this Tuesday (16th) at the Capitol Club.
"Both/And" Identity
My conscious, intentional, self-defined ego identity lends itself to "Both/And" constructs. I am "both" Bi-sexual and Pan-sexual as there are more than two genders to engage with. I am "both" monogamous when I am starting a deep soul connecting relationship, (I used to say "primary partner" here but I am now actively seeking non-hierarchical words for the different levels of connectedness and intimacy I persistently seek) and polyamorous in my intense but spacious BDSM connections. I tend to want "both" a wide variety of sexual acts to engage in with many others "and" to keep the intimacy of penetrative acts to a chosen few people.
Recently I have been re-reading Rainer Maria Rilke's essays and fiction. I have also been digesting the work of Eckhardt Tolle. It occurs to me that all of our identities and ethical/moral judgments are based on ego-identification. Our ego's are extremely attached to naming and defining and creating a "false" sense of control. The ego is afraid of death and creates an orderly universe where things are judged as "Either Good Or Bad", "Either God Or Devil"; "Either Free Or Captive", ad finitum, ad nauseum. On and on our little squirrel brain egos natter, endlessly dividing "All That Is" into two narrow boxes that are "essentially" different and inherently seperate. So the main issue here is not actually what is better, best or more evolved as an identity. A concern I have recently become personally fascinated by is: why do I chose to identify primarily with my ego-based self, the "It" that constantly speaks in my head and acts as if "It" is all there is? It is the ego which creates a false sense of separation that has developed into "Either/ Or". Isn't it possible that we are "both" our ego identified little self "and" our inner Immanence or big S Self?
I have come to the realization that one of the reasons I am so motivated to have sex and engage in BDSM is that they shut off my "squirrel brain". During sexual acts and BDSM scenes I become so Present, so in the NOW moment that I leave my ego identification and enter my Essence identification (or hang out in various unspecified trance states in between). I love these moments so much that I have built my life around creating such events with other people and trying to teach them how to reach similar states. It took me quite a while to figure out that for some people leaving the ego identified self is terrifying rather than pleasurable. Oops, well, at least I figured that out. I am now in the process of trying to have Essence identified experiences "both" during sex "and" while engaging in other everyday activities. Not because sex is "good" or "bad" just because I love diversity, flexibility, fluidity and all those other "both/and" things a hedonistic sex positive woman wallows in. If you want to experiment with me or share your own experiences, contact me.
About me:
My name is Teri Ciacchi, I am 44 years old. My life work is to create a healing sex positive culture that is respectful and empowering to all people. I currently identify as a polyamorous bachelorette, ( Warning/Disclaimer: this identity changes daily with my mood and who I am with in the moment). I identify my ancestry as Italian-American although I am also German, French and Bohemian. I make my living as a Sexologist, Therapist and Sex Positive Educator. My business is "The TerraFire Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living". I started "Erotic Seattle Education" LLC with Allena Gabosch and Pan Vera in June 2006. I over use CAPITAL LETTERS and Title Case. If you want to know more about me because you do not already know me you can check out my website:
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Sex Positive Revelations for 2007
Why not commit to living a more playful sensuous ecstatic life?
Join me in co-creating a culture based on a Love Ethic that increases the amount of closeness, intimacy and pleasure available to everyone. I have been doing a great deal of inner work in the past few weeks. The "Holy-Days" are usually a time of darkness for me that hold at least one episode of spiritual crisis. The last days of 2006 brought me into a deep awareness of my own fragility. I saw clearly that I had a choice between a) "surrendering to what is" in my most intimate relationships or b) continuing to suffer and create drama as I fought to remain attached to how "I think it should be". I found myself able to choose surrender and in doing so, I experienced an inner reservoir of graciousness and peace that I did not know was possible. I challenged myself to live by the definition of love that I teach in my classes and counseling practice:
"Love is the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth."
"Love is as love does. Love is an act of will-namely both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice.
We do not have to love. We choose to love."
From The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck
I walked my talk. I chose to become a more loving and empowering presence in the world.
In the spirit of my deepening commitment to world transformation, I ask you to read what I am writing for you here with a sense of curiosity and an open mind.
What would it be like to live in a world without sexual shame, fear of rape, assault or abuse? Wouldn't you like to find out? Many times when I sit down to write to you I wonder if I am really being of use. I am aware that people have judgments about sex positive culture. How is talking about jealousy in a public forum useful? Why investigate a self- repressed desire to be dominated or to dominate? What could be important about looking into an unpleasant childhood incident of guilt or embarrassment? Is it clear to you that attending to your personal sexual healing can be the cause of transformation on both an individual and societal level?
Part of the hazard of doing sex positive work in a sex negative culture is that people discount or disregard sexual healing work. Sacred Sexuality is seen as unimportant, frivolous, or even a contradiction in terms. A great many people are seriously distressed, suffering from the belief that they are un-loveable, un-desirable or permanently damaged in some way. For many of us, these internal messages were generated in past experiences of abuse that have not been fully cleared. Traumatic incidents lodge themselves in us as energy blockages and create what Eckhardt Tolle (author of The Power of Now, Stillness Speaks and A New Earth) calls "the Pain Body". Most of us are run by our ego identified self which thrives on our pain body. We are unconscious, disassociated and emotionally distressed. We are unhappy, dissatisfied and certain that this is "as good as it gets".
Why is it important to attend to our own healing, sexual and otherwise? We are living in a time of "Inconvenient Truths" (thank you Al Gore) when human suffering and narcissism has driven other species into the fastest rate of extinction since the coming of the ice age. We are living in a time when the earth's capacity to sustain "life as we know it" is becoming questionable. These concepts are no longer apocalyptic conspiracy theories; they are a glaring scientifically evident reality.
There is a direct connection between our ability and willingness to consciously inhabit our bodies and our ability and willingness to attend to the Planet's well being. Sexual wounds are often the deepest and most repressed wounds of all. Conversely, when we shine the light of conscious aware attention on these wounds a powerful and holistic energy shift can occur. Releasing ourselves from the past allows us to become present in the here and now. Until we attend to and accomplish our own sexual healing, the World; the actual physical Earth we live upon, cannot have our conscious attention. Sexual Healing is now the existential responsibility of every human who is interested in having human evolution be a part of the Earth's future.
Fortunately it is possible to heal through play, pleasure and sense awareness. Sexual Healing does not have to be an ominous re-traumatizing process. Some of the simple tasks at hand are: 1) investigating where we are silent and choosing to speak, 2) seeing where we are numb and bringing our attention to these places, 3) listening to each other and finding we are not alone, 4) holding a compassionate space, within for our selves and without for others, to be seen and witnessed, 5) asking for, offering and providing physical affection as an end to itself.
With all of this in mind, please consider participating in the events I host or teach by visiting www.terrafire.org, or create and invite others to Sex Positive events of your own.
Join me in co-creating a culture based on a Love Ethic that increases the amount of closeness, intimacy and pleasure available to everyone. I have been doing a great deal of inner work in the past few weeks. The "Holy-Days" are usually a time of darkness for me that hold at least one episode of spiritual crisis. The last days of 2006 brought me into a deep awareness of my own fragility. I saw clearly that I had a choice between a) "surrendering to what is" in my most intimate relationships or b) continuing to suffer and create drama as I fought to remain attached to how "I think it should be". I found myself able to choose surrender and in doing so, I experienced an inner reservoir of graciousness and peace that I did not know was possible. I challenged myself to live by the definition of love that I teach in my classes and counseling practice:
"Love is the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth."
"Love is as love does. Love is an act of will-namely both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice.
We do not have to love. We choose to love."
From The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck
I walked my talk. I chose to become a more loving and empowering presence in the world.
In the spirit of my deepening commitment to world transformation, I ask you to read what I am writing for you here with a sense of curiosity and an open mind.
What would it be like to live in a world without sexual shame, fear of rape, assault or abuse? Wouldn't you like to find out? Many times when I sit down to write to you I wonder if I am really being of use. I am aware that people have judgments about sex positive culture. How is talking about jealousy in a public forum useful? Why investigate a self- repressed desire to be dominated or to dominate? What could be important about looking into an unpleasant childhood incident of guilt or embarrassment? Is it clear to you that attending to your personal sexual healing can be the cause of transformation on both an individual and societal level?
Part of the hazard of doing sex positive work in a sex negative culture is that people discount or disregard sexual healing work. Sacred Sexuality is seen as unimportant, frivolous, or even a contradiction in terms. A great many people are seriously distressed, suffering from the belief that they are un-loveable, un-desirable or permanently damaged in some way. For many of us, these internal messages were generated in past experiences of abuse that have not been fully cleared. Traumatic incidents lodge themselves in us as energy blockages and create what Eckhardt Tolle (author of The Power of Now, Stillness Speaks and A New Earth) calls "the Pain Body". Most of us are run by our ego identified self which thrives on our pain body. We are unconscious, disassociated and emotionally distressed. We are unhappy, dissatisfied and certain that this is "as good as it gets".
Why is it important to attend to our own healing, sexual and otherwise? We are living in a time of "Inconvenient Truths" (thank you Al Gore) when human suffering and narcissism has driven other species into the fastest rate of extinction since the coming of the ice age. We are living in a time when the earth's capacity to sustain "life as we know it" is becoming questionable. These concepts are no longer apocalyptic conspiracy theories; they are a glaring scientifically evident reality.
There is a direct connection between our ability and willingness to consciously inhabit our bodies and our ability and willingness to attend to the Planet's well being. Sexual wounds are often the deepest and most repressed wounds of all. Conversely, when we shine the light of conscious aware attention on these wounds a powerful and holistic energy shift can occur. Releasing ourselves from the past allows us to become present in the here and now. Until we attend to and accomplish our own sexual healing, the World; the actual physical Earth we live upon, cannot have our conscious attention. Sexual Healing is now the existential responsibility of every human who is interested in having human evolution be a part of the Earth's future.
Fortunately it is possible to heal through play, pleasure and sense awareness. Sexual Healing does not have to be an ominous re-traumatizing process. Some of the simple tasks at hand are: 1) investigating where we are silent and choosing to speak, 2) seeing where we are numb and bringing our attention to these places, 3) listening to each other and finding we are not alone, 4) holding a compassionate space, within for our selves and without for others, to be seen and witnessed, 5) asking for, offering and providing physical affection as an end to itself.
With all of this in mind, please consider participating in the events I host or teach by visiting www.terrafire.org, or create and invite others to Sex Positive events of your own.
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