I just had a very moving and loving conversation with my friend X this afternoon. I realized last Thursday (because he told me and I actually listened), that he did not want to be in a physically intimate romantic relationship with me. I got very clear guidance this weekend that I am supposed to love him unconditionally anyway. It is somewhat difficult for me as my ego/id/identity wants to belittle him and throw a fit and say "you are an idiot for rejecting me". In fact I was already in the process of generating stories that belittled both of us because I was inauthentic about how painful it was for me to not get what I want "AGAIN!". Authentically though, I really want to keep loving him and being close to him. So we agreed we will be friends and that it is safe to have our child selves play with each other. I also had a two hour yoga session with Lance on Tuesday we talked for the first hour about Yoga's spiritual properties and I got a much deeper understanding of what Yoga is. Then we did an hour of yoga, all surrender poses and on the floor poses. He also led me in a yogic sleep visualization which was very healing. Julie Starkel is doing a blood test for me so I can learn about my vitamin deficeinces and then calculate my metabolic rate. I am learning so much about bodies! So my new affirmation is that I am learning the magickal art of shape shifting.
*******Below is what i sent out in my most recent newsletter***********
I am remarkably healthy and feeling well. I am the possibility of radiant well-being. As of Jan 7th my official 8 weeks of doctor recommended rest and recovery for my triple hernia surgery is complete! The CAT scan taken on Dec 23rd showed neither further hernias nor prolapse of any kind. I started doing water aerobics at the local pool today and am walking 2-5 times a week. The number of people who have stepped up to help me and provided me with services is amazing! I especially want to thank Dawn Lamp who is now a nutrition and well-being coach who sells Usana Supplements, Julie Starkel of Greenlake Nutrition who is my nutritionist, Emily Jennings and Ranjiv Jain who are my exercise coaches, and Lance DeMuth who created a series of Yoga Asanas for me to do as I recover. Luminara Serdar is doing NeuroModulation Technique sessions with me. check her out at
I can now carry things up and down stairs and walk for 45 minutes again. Being healthy is not something I assume any more. I am really enjoying learning how to eat and so many fascinating things about my body and digestion and nutrition. Wow, who knew something as essential as eating could be so complex. Food is medicine. I appear to have some kind of wheat or gluten intolerance and I would love to get suggestions for places to eat non-wheat/ gluten dishes and types of non-wheat foods that you enjoy.
As you can see I am not teaching much at all Jan – March 2009. I am focusing on developing my counseling practice, making art and tending to my intimate relationships. I find that my healing process requires a lot more centering of the self and alone time. I am cooking most of my own food, meditating and just being with myself. I am enjoying this process. Thanks for being a part of my community of health!
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